Charlie Kirk Wants Biden Executed, For Crime Of 'Bumbling Dementia-Filled Alzheimer's Corrupt Tyrant'

Stop calling these people lunatics, they're totally normal.

We finally figured it out who he looks like. Meatwad is of course far more intelligent and pure of heart.

Well, folks, Charlie Kirk, that grand wizard of human intellect, thinks President Joe Biden should be executed for his crimes against America.

That might seem harsh, calling for the execution of a sitting president, but we guess we’ll at least examine his evidence. Surely he rendered this judgment carefully and somberly?

Kirk played a clip of Vice President Kamala Harris talking about how she came out of an educational system that encouraged her to learn how to think and learn for herself, and said without this she wouldn’t be standing there today as vice president. Kirk’s immediate reaction to this — as a poorly educated mediocre white man whose parents didn’t get him braces to un-crooked his face when he was a child and now it’s just stuck that way — was that this clip was a good demonstration of why Harris would be easier to beat than Joe Biden.

(You can hop over to Media Matters for the video, but there’s no visual, so unless you just loving hearing his dulcet tones, you can also skip it and just stay here.)

CHARLIE KIRK: I know what you're thinking, we've got to get Joe Biden out of the way so we can run against Kammy.

“Kammy”? Is that some new inferior white racist boy name for Harris?

“Oh my goodness, is she beatable. It's like Black Hillary on steroids.”

What does that mean? Explain it to us, word by word, like we’re five.

“Is she Black? I guess she says she's Caribbean or whatever.”

“Or whatever.” Far be it from a guy like Charlie to simply take a Black woman’s word for it when she says where she’s from.

“Doesn’t matter. She gives these speeches, and it just has this aura of totalitarianism.”

This aura! It’s just that totalitarian glow she gives off.

“My team says she’s Indian and Caribbean!”

Charlie delivers this line with the voice of a 95-year-old who has just encountered something completely new, like maybe he’s just been told there’s a Taco Bell inside the gas station and it’s blowing his fucking mind. What will they think of next?

“She would be a lot easier to beat than Joe Biden. Joe Biden is a bumbling dementia-filled Alzheimer's corrupt tyrant …”

We hate bumbling dementia-filled Alzheimer’s corrupt tyrants. They are always doing tyranny and then forgetting which tyrannies they just did and using their spoons to flip their pudding at the nursing home attendants. That’s a tyranny right there.

Sometimes people ask how dog-brained MAGA people have it both ways, insisting that Biden is simultaneously an evil dictator genius and also a big DementiaFarts McOld. This is how. Nothing they say is required to make any sense because their beliefs aren’t real. Their ideas don’t have to be intellectually consistent, because they’re not intellectual in the first place. They’re just screaming racial slurs at clouds and demanding they stay white.

“… who should honestly be put in prison and/or given the death penalty for his crimes against America.”

That escalated quickly.

Which crimes? Charlie does not say. He is not required to say. The pigfucking morons who listen to him do not need him to say. None of them know which crimes, and they don’t care. “Hunter Biden,” they might say, if challenged. “Hunter Biden did what?” you might say. “Ukraine!” they might say. “Hunter Biden did what in Ukraine?” you might say. “Burisma!” they might say. “What is Burisma?” you might say. “Libtard!” they might say. “If you show me Ukraine on a map,” you might say, “I will give you a signed lyric sheet of every song Jason Aldean ever wrote by himself.”

Frustrated with your liberal questions and sensing woke trickery, they would then stomp off to protest Target in front of a Bud Light display, but they wouldn’t make it because they’d die in a gender reveal fireworks accident along the way.

This is how all conversations with MAGA Republicans go these days.

Where were we?

Oh yeah, Charlie Kirk’s mangled high-school educated face thinks Joe Biden should be executed and he is absolutely terrified of Kamala Harris and her mysteriously ethnic totalitarian auras.

These people are not lunatics. They totally resonate with normal Americans. Totally.

[Media Matters]

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