¡Chasca La Patata! Tabs, Tues., March 10, 2026
Scroll down for Spanish cooking segment!
Good morning, it’s tabs!
Russia is helping Iran with intel on where to find and kill American troops and Donald Trump doesn’t care and Pete Hegseth doesn’t seem to either. Guessing it’s because they hate America and they hate and disrespect the troops. Wonder if Trump and Vladimir Putin talked about that when they had their sex chat on the phone yesterday. Oh, and Trump thinks he might remove oil sanctions from Russia! They definitely talked about that. [PBS News / AP / Military Times / Reuters]
Trump says the Iran war is pretty much “very complete,” but Pete Hegseth says it’s just getting started. Which is it? Yes, says Dementia Hitler. Yes.
Also says he might take over the Strait of Hormuz! And that oil tankers should just “show some guts” and sail through it! He says it’s open! (It is not!) [New Republic / CBS News]
World’s stupidest Fox News host Brian Kilmeade, the one who always looks like he just made love to a giant anvil with his face, would also like oil tankers to “show some guts” and speed demon their way through the Strait of Hormuz to see if they get murdered. Did Kilmeade give Trump this idea or Trump give it to Kilmeade? At this point does it even matter who gave the genital brain warts to whom?
Iran has … another idea.
How bad is it for the global economy for the Strait of Hormuz to be closed? Uhhhh. Let’s go with catastrophic. Meanwhile, Trump and Pete Hegseth are over here like “Your mother is a Hormuz!” and “More like Gay of Hormuz!” [Wall Street Journal]
Iran has a new supreme leader, and it is Khamenei’s son Mojtaba Khamenei, who is even more extremist than his dead dad. To underline that, the US and Israel just killed his dad. And his wife. And his mom. And his sister. And his brother-in-law. So we’re sure he’s ready to greet the invaders as liberators! Trump’s previous statement on Khamenei the Younger: “Khamenei’s son is unacceptable to me.” Now Trump says he hasn’t ruled out killing the new guy too. Heckuva fucking job, Trump and Pete Hegseth, you dipshits! You’re absolutely nailing this. [Wall Street Journal / NPR]
Meanwhile, here’s Trump floating the theory that maybe Iran found a Tomahawk missile seven seconds after the bombing started and bombed its own little girls, as opposed to the real truth, which is that Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump are responsible for those little girls’ deaths.
Megyn Kelly says Lindsey Graham is a “homicidal maniac with insatiable bloodlust,” and you know what? This time we’re just gonna let her talk. [JoeMyGod]
Pigfuck MAGA Tennessee Rep. Andy Ogles is as much of a giant pigfuck as he looks like.
Not shockingly, none of the Republican House leadership or the important Republican politicians in Tennessee have found the time to say anything about Ogles’s remarks. [HuffPo]
Peter Thiel and Jeffrey Epstein, sittin’ in a tree. [Jacobin]
This is not a fight, because we don’t have time. But now that the Texas Senate primary is over, at least for the Democrats, I wrote at The Moral High Ground about why I think James Talarico is such a unique candidate, why I think MAGA really is absolutely terrified of him, and about how he’s positioned within a much larger movement that is fighting back against fascism and framing that fight in explicitly religious terms. It’s kind of a fuckin’ big deal. If you haven’t gone over there to subscribe yet, reckon you should. [The Moral High Ground]
The FBI’s election witch hunt to make up evidence that Donald Trump actually won the 2020 election has moved to Maricopa County in Arizona. Hey, remember the 2020 election, when Donald Trump lost like a little bitch because everybody hates him? [Democracy Docket]
Did a dumbass at Kristi Noem’s ICE spend millions of dollars on marked vehicles the agency cannot even use? Yes. [Washington Examiner]
“Trump’s Weird Fetish for Discount Dress Shoes Revealed.” Oh, my fucking … what? [Daily Beast]
Did you know that your salted caramel mocha latte is destroying society? This is the drivel they are now publishing on the Washington Post opinion page. [WaPo]
The Chief Creative Officer of Pixar is apparently a huge fucking bigot. [Wall Street Journal]
Oh, you wanted a song? NO! You get “Rosalía Cooks Tortilla de Patatas” instead! And she is a Spanish superstar, as you know, and this is she doing a cooking segment. ¡Aprende cosas!
OK, enough tabs, you are busy making tortillas de patatas now.
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Beep, Beep, Beep. Weather alert!
"A potent storm that will track across the Plains and Great Lakes into midweek will interact with clashing warm Gulf air and cooler Pacific and Canadian air with plenty of moisture in place. This will set the stage for severe thunderstorms from Texas to the Ohio Valley Tuesday and Wednesday.
"This could be the largest outbreak of severe weather so far this year," said AccuWeather Senior Meteorologist Adam Douty.
Individuals are urged to have multiple ways to receive warnings and to have a plan in place, as severe thunderstorms could continue into the night, including the potential for nocturnal tornadoes. Having a pair of closed-toe shoes, a flashlight and charged electronic devices nearby before going to sleep each night are some ways to be prepared ahead of the severe thunderstorm risk."
"Hazards, including hail, flash flooding and damaging wind gusts, are expected with any severe thunderstorm. There will also be the risk of tornadoes as well.
"The greatest tornado risk Tuesday afternoon and Tuesday night is expected to develop from Missouri to Indiana," said Douty.
The higher risk could reach close to Chicago or at least its southern suburbs in Illinois."
https://www.accuweather.com/en/severe-weather/central-us-to-face-renewed-threat-for-severe-storms-tornadoes/1871037