Check Out This Tool Running A Pro-MAGA Account From The White House

Here's Johnny!

Every staffer in the Trump regime is hand-picked by Trump himself, or via Susie Wiles, as a representation of Dear Leader’s id to be his little arrows carrying out his vision into the world! And what a fetid id it is, prowled by gutter racists, underqualified shitposters, pedophile enablers and Epstein pals, conspiracy theorists, people compromised by cheating on their spouses and/or with Russia, Turkey, etc.

Here is another random! Wired reports that his name is Garrett J. Wade, and he makes $74,500 working in the White House as a rapid response staffer. As such, he runs the X account Johnny MAGA, which has the most pathetic Trump-fawning you ever could read, that somehow 300,000 accounts follow. Not only that, but multiple “media outlets, including Mother Jones, TownHall, and the New York Post, have all linked out to posts on the Johnny MAGA account seemingly as organic reflections of public sentiment.”

Curiously, Wade’s name and face don’t appear in many places other than on the White House payroll, though Patriot Takes dug up a picture of him with Interior Secretary Doug Burgum.

Liam McPoyle vibes.

Strangely, though, there is no one by that name on the official White House staff pages, Facebook, or LinkedIn, or your usual social medias. Aren’t most people who work in the White House usually proud about it? And are we sure he isn’t just taking down dictation from Stephen Miller or Corey Lewandowski? The taint-licking is insane, and the language seems like that of an older person than this guy looks. Or maybe he just has a baby face, who knows!

It claims that the AI slop Trump posted of Obamas as apes was a MASTERPIECE. While re-posting the entire thing minus that part. One doesn’t edit and chop up a masterpiece, Garrett!

It praises Trump’s most truly insane ramblings.

It’s been almost a week, get their alien butts out here already!

There’s lots of fantasies about Barron.

It gets worse the more you look. How are five people with so much money among them so unable to find clothes that fit them? Why is Tiffany’s sweater tucked into her pants, did she run out of the bathroom in a hurry? Can no one take poor Barron to the big and tall store and find him a sportcoat, shirt and tie that are not several sizes too small? But sure, okay, points for the clown-length tie not having gravy stains on it.

Or maybe he means in the Outkast sense, but Garrett Wade doesn’t look old enough for that.

That kid looks miserable, like the only thing he is preparing for is to fill his pockets with stones and walk into the sea.

Another quip, “Gavin Newsom attempts to act hood while meeting Usher in Atlanta. Absolute cornball.” Newsom is attempting to pose as a hoodlum, yet comes off as a cornball? Sick burn! Much rizz! Are we sure that Tweet wasn’t dictated by C. Montgomery Burns?

How old is this Garrett Wade, where did he go to school, what Heritage Foundation or Elon Musk resume slush pile or well-connected donor did he fall out of? Who is supervising him? Who knows!

It’s wild to think that for kids in their 20s now, Trump has been President or hogging the spotlight since they were in grammar school. They have never known a world without a toxic online cesspool of propaganda-memes in their social media algorithms.

And to this one in particular, everything Trump does is incredible, amazing, impressive.

Trump saying he “will be using lower case letters for a while based on a complete lack of respect!” for the “supreme court” and is raising tariffs anyway? “Incredible. They’ve awoken the Beast.”

“Secretary of War Pete Hegseth bench presses 315lbs at under 200lbs body weight. Insanely impressive.”

“Greg Bovino is back on X. Absolutely incredible content.”

Okay, that’ll do, time to call the doctor about a boner lasting longer than four hours and ice up that groin.

Incredible content indeed! As in, not credible on any level whatsoever, and painfully pathetic. Imagine if Barack Hussein Obama or Joe Robinette Biden hired someone to sit in the White House marketing products on their behalf and posting out such buns-hole-tonguing over-the-top praise of themselves. Or even had their own line of products, for that matter. “I just can’t wait for my next delivery from the Obama Dijon Mustard of the Month club!” “So you’re saying Joe orders a chicken salad sandwich, and then Jill orders a tuna salad sandwich, and then they both switch halves so they both get one of each? Insanely impressive, Bidens. Incredible 4-D chess.”

One more MAGA chud to file away for your game of “Guess Who?” Can this memelord’s efforts reverse Donald Trump’s cratering approval rating with all that AWESOME INCREDIBLE INSANE IMPRESSIVE BEAST MODE posting? Guess we will see!

[Wired]