Chris Christie Closes All Lanes To His 2024 Presidential Bid
Yes it's a very dated George Washington Bridge joke, we were tired.
Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie ended his presidential campaign yesterday, less than a week before the Iowa caucuses. While Christie was the only Republican candidate willing to come right out and say that Donald Trump isn’t fit to be a toll collector on the New Jersey Turnpike, much less president, that message simply wasn’t welcome in today’s GOP.
Speaking at a town hall in New Hampshire, Christie said it had become clear to him that “there isn’t a path for me to win the nomination,” which we’re pretty certain was clear to everyone else well before he even announced he’d be running. He added that although he’s dropping out of the race, he won’t really be gone:
“My goal has never been to be just a voice against the hate and division and the selfishness of what our party has become under Donald Trump,” he added, vowing to continue to warn the party and the country about the dangers of a second Trump term.
“I am going to make sure that in no way do I enable Donald Trump to ever be president of the United States again. And that’s more important than my own personal ambition,” he said.
Like Tom Joad, Chris Christie will be there wherever Republicans wonder if this is any way to run a party. Wherever they’s a fight so hungry people can eat, he’ll be there to insist that hating the poor is a key Republican value that can be pursued without full on fascism, and wherever they’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, he’ll be there to explain that you can still support police brutality and say Black Lives Don’t Matter without voting for Trump. He’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad, because yelling was one of the things Chris Christie really excelled at. But he won’t be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry an’ they know supper’s ready, because we stopped a long time ago with the “Chris Christie Eated …” gag.
So we guess he’s going to work on doing the Elder Statesman thing. Christie didn’t endorse any of his GOP rivals, because ew, and also because, as he said on a hot mic before the town hall, “Anyone who is unwilling to say [Trump] is unfit to be president of the United States, is unfit themselves to be president of the United States.” Also during that hot mic monologue, Christie said Nikki Haley’s “gonna get smoked and you and I both know it. She’s not up to this,” and said DeSantis had called him, “petrified that I would …” The audio died, but we’re assuming “endorse” was the transitive verb, and DeSantis was not the direct object.
Then, during the actual event, Christie said basically the same thing, pointing out that during the first GOP debate back in August, all of the other candidates raised their hands when asked if they’d support the eventual nominee, even if that person (ahem) had been convicted of a crime.
As for Nikki Haley, Christie said hell to the no, and made a little confession about himself:
“I have no interest in being a spoiler for someone who wants to beat Donald Trump. […] But if you’d be willing to be his vice president, if you’d pardon him if you became president, if you’d vote for him even if he’s a convicted felon ... I mean, geez, really?”
Christie asked the crowd to imagine what would happen if he dropped out to support Haley and then she agreed to serve as Trump’s running mate.
“What will I look like? What will all the people who supported her at my behest look like?” he asked. “You know, I made that mistake once, eight years ago. I made an endorsement decision based on politics eight years ago when I supported Trump. I’m not going to make the same mistake again. Can’t do it.”
We guess knowing that Jared unceremoniously threw out — literally, in a dumpster —every last bit of the extensive planning Christie did for Trump’s transition just might have gotten the message across to him.
So long, Chris Christie. The Pundit Class will mourn the loss of your accurate criticism of Trump, which Republicans didn’t want to hear anyway, but here is your “At Least You Tried” certificate. Now the pundits can get on with the next big thing, speculating how your departure from the race just might give Haley an edge over Trump in New Hampshire, which she can then ride to victory in her own state of South Carolina, and from there, a straight shot to the White House also dropping out sometime in March.
PREVIOUSLY!
[AP / CNN / Photo (cropped) by Corey Seeman, Creative Commons License 2.0]
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No one takes us seriously until shit hits the fan, then everyone looks to the Left.
As I just posted to the Bulwark, let's save any (slight) accolades for Christie until he comes out and full-throatedly endorses Biden. I am so sick of these half-assed Republicans who know Trump is a present danger, know it will be Biden (aka democracy) v. Trump (aka fascism) on the ballot and who refuse to do what's right and say: "Democrats and Biden are our only hope. Vote for Biden." Until I hear that, he remains on "my useless as tits on a boar" list.