UNLESS YOU'RE JESUS, MY DAD OR MY HUSBAND. Weddings are the toughest, amirite, ladies? But they are the most magical day in a girl's life, if you can just make everything Just So in preparation for your big day. STEP ONE: Find a man whose walk with the Lord is strong like yours! STEP TWO: Say OMG YES! when he asks you to be his Christian bride. STEP THREE: So many preparations! You have to pick out the dress and the flowers and the invitations and make the guest list and your bridesmaids are like "DON'T BE SUCH A BRIDEZILLA, TIFFANY" and (phew!) you needed that because really, is it that important what color the napkins were? Gah, Tiffany. STEP FOUR: Be grateful your girls have your back because #sisterhood.
Just imagine a gyno who is so creepily (a) religious reich-ish; or, (b) willing to do any goddamn thing to keep customers coming (ha ha) back that s/he would participate in this stupid shit? The end,"Hamen."There. Fixed.
What about girls who ride horses? Do they get a note from the horse?What about hypocrites - I had a friend who was a strict Catholic and so was the lady he was having an illicit affair with - for years he claimed they only had oral sex so they could say it wasn't sex in the eyes of the church.There's a word for this in the dictionary: hypocrisy.
A guy I knew married a virgin. After the ceremony and while on the "honeymoon" she decided that she didn't want to do the sex thing, getting married was a mistake and she had decided to become a nun. He was back in town 3 days after the wedding and she was never spoken of again.
So God loves the Koch brothers more than Mother Theresa? That makes PERFECT sense, if you're the type of person who believes the earth is 6000 years old and climate change is a hoax perpetuated by evil scientists.
Jesus is doing it all wrong. Everyone knows that the best way to insure well-preserved pussy is to wrap it in a mylar bag and stick it in a longbox! With her current way, her ladybits will qualify as "Near Mint" at best! Thanks a lot, Lord of Lords!
You know what the weird thing is? Her father's a DOCTOR! Seriously! A fellow doctor giving his "baby" a "Showroom-new seal-of-approval" certificate on her cooter just makes this (supposed) medical professional beam with pride! Ugh!
signed, sealed, delivered...
Just imagine a gyno who is so creepily (a) religious reich-ish; or, (b) willing to do any goddamn thing to keep customers coming (ha ha) back that s/he would participate in this stupid shit? The end,"Hamen."There. Fixed.
What about girls who ride horses? Do they get a note from the horse?What about hypocrites - I had a friend who was a strict Catholic and so was the lady he was having an illicit affair with - for years he claimed they only had oral sex so they could say it wasn't sex in the eyes of the church.There's a word for this in the dictionary: hypocrisy.
Yep- "The Blind Leading the Naked" is not just an album title anymore!
A guy I knew married a virgin. After the ceremony and while on the "honeymoon" she decided that she didn't want to do the sex thing, getting married was a mistake and she had decided to become a nun. He was back in town 3 days after the wedding and she was never spoken of again.
Or when she finds out he's gay.*
* "Not that there's anything wrong with that." - Jerry Seinfeld
Everything?
So God loves the Koch brothers more than Mother Theresa? That makes PERFECT sense, if you're the type of person who believes the earth is 6000 years old and climate change is a hoax perpetuated by evil scientists.
Jesus is doing it all wrong. Everyone knows that the best way to insure well-preserved pussy is to wrap it in a mylar bag and stick it in a longbox! With her current way, her ladybits will qualify as "Near Mint" at best! Thanks a lot, Lord of Lords!
She's going to stay a virgin. he's gay.
Peter Sellars played the Venal Doctor Dr Pratt in "The Wrong Box."It was very funny.This story is crying out for a Venal Doctor.
Basically, yeah. It's a pretty horrible hypocrisy innit?
You know what the weird thing is? Her father's a DOCTOR! Seriously! A fellow doctor giving his "baby" a "Showroom-new seal-of-approval" certificate on her cooter just makes this (supposed) medical professional beam with pride! Ugh!
Sounds like Ma Theresa wasn't no saint!
Third category: asexual.
Fuck me in the ass for Jesus. https://www.youtube.com/wat...