224 Comments
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JohnInCA's avatar

Wheaton College's statement of faith doesn't seem like it's compatible with Judaism, so I'm not sure Jesus would actually go there.

xy's avatar

the Egyptians had a pretty cool group of gods.

proudgrampa the younger's avatar

What I don't understand is that Christians always (conveniently) forget that Jesus was a Jew. There is no way they would admit him to their schools or churches, even if he wanted to go (and I suspect not!).

proudgrampa the younger's avatar

This is why I'm a Pastafarian.May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage (preferably with a nice Bolognese sauce and Chianti).

PoppaCharlie's avatar

I think that if Jesus was going to Wheaton College right now, it would be to reprise his "money changers in the temple" bit, with extreme prejudice.

PoppaCharlie's avatar

At least Wes recovered from the trauma.

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Welp, no more gifts to Wheaton College for me. Oh, wait, I don't have any money. Well, if I ever get any, none of it will go to Wheaton College.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

"Educate and inform the whole mass of the people... They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty." --Thomas Jefferson

Jefferson knew that an educated electorate was essential - and that large numbers of ignorant sheeple would be a problem. Fucks Gnus is in the business of creating that problem.

ahughes798's avatar

Oh, she used to deny people dying of terminal diseases pain medications. Something something "the beauty of suffering" something something. She was also good pals with Idi Amin, who was really nice person, also, too. And let's not forget at the end of her life, she lost her faith. Mother Theresa was not dumb, but she was evil.

hvdv's avatar

That's not how it works. Thousands of excellent academics are without academic jobs. (And yes, thousands of worthless diploma-holders are with well-paying academic jobs.) It's as shitty a place to work as any--although this "Wheaton College" appears to be worse than most.

freetofu's avatar

I'm just thinking that Jesus's mom is wearing a hijab in pretty much every picture of her, so she probably could have got away with it if she'd just kept her mouth shut.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Wait a minute. The school administration actually thinks that the WAY they got rid of this teacher will influence whether or not they get God's blessing? What sort of moran do they think he is?

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Also, too, Kate Pierson of the B-52's.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Does Wheaton have a dress code? Jesus might not be able to get in.