Curious What Herschel Walker's Son Christian Thinks About This Matt Schlapp Business?

He's gonna tell ya.

By now you've heard the news. Matt Schlapp, the over-coiffed white-haired head of the virulently white fascist anti-LGBTQ+ confab called CPAC, has been accused of repeatedly and roughly groping a male staffer for Herschel Walker's Senate campaign. It's always the types you most expect, and by "types" we mean people who look like they're dressed in drag as bad old-timey Christian album covers. 

Specifically Schlapp has been accused of "pummel[ing] it at length," it being the male Walker staffer's junk. Schlapp denies it. Okeydoke.

During Herschel Walker's campaign, as embarrassing revelations came out day after day about the brain-addled candidate, Christian Walker, Herschel's gay conservative son, became well known for commenting on those revelations. "Wear a condom, damn," for example. Or tweets like this one, which came the night of Walker's loss in the runoff:

“Don’t beat women, hold guns to peoples heads, fund abortions then pretend your pro-life, stalk cheerleaders, leave your multiple minor children alone to chase more fame, lie, lie, lie, say stupid crap, and make a fool of your family.. And then maybe you can win a senate seat.”

— Christian Walker (@Christian Walker) 1670383714 

Unsurprisingly, Christian has thoughts on the accused Dickschlapper. He doesn't use the words "OK groomer," but we sure thought them when we heard what he had to say:

“Typical predator,” Christian Walker said in a video Saturday. “Preys on this poor little staffer who’s just trying to work his way up in Republican politics, then gets assaulted by one of the top guys in the industry. Ridiculous. Family values? You need to cling to your wife and your children.”

Hahahahahahahahaha. Here is video:  

“Christian Walker rants about CPAC’s Matt Schlapp allegedly groping one of Herschel Walker’s campaign staffers and inviting him up to his hotel room. Walker: “When he’s on campaign trips away from his wife and children he’s trying to hookup with men. …Typical predator.””

— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@PatriotTakes 🇺🇸) 1673116434 

The video is so much more than the quote above. Christian refers to Schlapp as "Matt Schlapp, head of CPAC, big family values conservative guy, married to a woman!" He talks about the texts Schlapp sent — which the accuser shared with the Daily Beast, where Schlapp begged the staffer, “If you could see it in your heart to call me," and so forth — referring to them as a "typical predator move."

Walker says Schlapp should resign from CPAC and closes with the admonition, "Don't get schlapped by the Schlapp," because no one alive is immune from spontaneously making "Schlapp" puns right now. Indeed, in a statement to the Daily Beast, Walker adds, "Don’t get your schlong schlapped by Matt Schlapp!!”

Wonkette must of course clarify that our version, "Dickschlapped," is the best version.

As we always note, Christian Walker is an asshole in his own right, an obnoxious gay conservative rightwing TikTok influencer brat. We don't highlight things like this to cheerlead him specifically. We do it because it's fun to watch these people fight, and considering the subject matter, it's fun to hear from a gay conservative who happens to be the child of the Senate candidate whose campaign provided the setting for these alleged events.

So this is where we are.

News organizations continue to independently report out the story, and people on Twitter are ratio-ing Schlapp's latest tweet where he talks about Kevin McCarthy's gavel.

“Congrats to ⁦@SpeakerMcCarthy⁩ (84% CPAC rating) for your historic victory. Time to unify our conference, pass out the gavels and commence the pushback. Well done.”

— Matt Schlapp (@Matt Schlapp) 1673095669 

Meanwhile, Schlapp's wife Mercedes Schlapp is retweeting the statement from American Conservative Union board members (ACU is the org Schlapp chairs, which puts on CPAC) decrying the vicious attack on Schlapp by the Daily Beast. (Definitely, it is their fault, for sure.) So we guess that's her public stance right now.

We occasionally like to remind folks that the story here isn't simply that Matt Schlapp has been accused of pummeling a male campaign staffer's junk, although because the allegation here is sexual assault, that's enough of a story. However, this is the head of the organization that brought the vicious fascist anti-gay Hungarian dictator Viktor Orban to town to his CPAC soirée last year, andthey gave him a standing ovation. CPAC plays host to vile anti-LGBTQ+ bigots on the regular.   

So that is also why this a story.

In summary and in conclusion, this tweet is still up:  

“We go in the toilets and we believe God creates boys and girls and guns are legal and murders are rare. Your turn Mr Mayor”

— Matt Schlapp (@Matt Schlapp) 1664315692 

Sure thing, man.

[ Daily Beast ]

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