Uh, you should probably visit this Christine O'Donnell web forum and explain (confess) how Ms. O'Donnell arouses you in the most sexual way possible. Bonus points to the first person who uses the term "jerkin the gherkin." Special thanks to Wonkette operative "Gretchen" for the Christine meat-beating tip.
And how to the PUMAs feel about this non-masturbation stuff?