Christmas Comes Early For Mark Carney
Latest Conservative defection brings Liberals within one seat of majority government.
Nobody expects the weirdos at the Conservative Party of Canada to know how to throw a good party, but their latest end-of-season shindig went so badly it might end up tipping the balance of power in Ottawa.
Michael Ma, a rookie member of Parliament for the Ontario riding of Markham-Unionville, announced he was jumping ship from the Tories within one day of attending his first office Christmas party with them, although it seems unlikely hard eggnog or mistletoe misadventure were involved.
Ma made the surprise announcement at the Liberals’ own seasonal holiday gathering the following night that he’s become the first of potentially more MPs to follow in the floor-crossing footsteps of former deputy speaker Chris d’Entremont, who defected to the governing Grits in November after tiring of what he called “frat house” vibes emanating from what was once a serious political party.
“The night I attended the Conservative (Christmas) party, I was truly a Conservative member,” the yo-yoing Ma told CP24. “I had not made a decision at that point.”
Maybe there was simply too much fruitcake, although that’s to be expected at any gathering of the Conservative caucus — never mind their plus ones — but it’s not as if Hans Gruber and henchmen showed up to ruin things like in the classic Christmas film Die Hard. Mark Carney’s Liberals now have 171 seats in the House of Commons — just one shy of the 172 needed for a majority government — which means they’ll now only need two opposition members to no-show (or at least one to vote with them) to pass laws or survive confidence votes.
Tory leader Pierre Poilievre isn’t taking the second recent backstabbing well and went as far as to suggest Ma didn’t just betray voters but even somehow dined and dashed in a recent interview with Qub Radio’s Mario Dumont.
“He was literally dancing with our MPs, and the next day he made a deal with Mr. Carney, so it’s very strange and he needs to answer questions,” Peewee complained in French to the host. “He should pay his bill, but the fact that he didn’t pay his bill will surely make him a good Liberal.”
Ho ho ho! Everyone knows woke Liberals never pay their bills unlike common-sense Conservatives! Which to be fair appeared in jest but also raises the possibility minions had to pay to attend their own office Christmas party, which was held in a private Toronto residence and doubled as a fundraiser. Some might call this fiscal conservatism, but even my low-paying gig driving a water taxi offers complimentary finger food and a drink ticket, while Rebecca always sends a little something extra in December.
The man is also being accused of failing as a Secret Santa, according to JD Vance’s bestie Jamil Jivani, who left the event empty-handed like a common Tiny Tim.
“When Michael Ma crossed the floor, I wondered maybe I didn’t get a gift because he decided not to give one,” said Jivani. “Maybe he decided to give it to a Liberal instead.”
His new seat on the Liberal side of the aisle is of course the real gift, although the rando businessman isn’t expected to get a plum cabinet position in exchange like former high-profile floor-crossers such as Belinda Stronach or David Emerson. There’s also bound to be some awkward banter with new colleagues since it was only three weeks ago he called them “Team Feudalism” and claimed “the Liberals do not believe in a productive economy that works for hard-working Canadians.”
Oops. This isn’t as bad as, say, unfavorably comparing your new boss to Hitler like Uncle Jamil’s old Yale buddy once did, but it makes for a rough first day.
A petition calling for his resignation already has more than 37,000 signatures, some of them possibly even from constituents rather than just bots or angry Albertans. It’s worth noting Markham-Unionville, a suburban riding north of Toronto that’s home to a vast number of Chinese immigrants, is considered a swing riding that regularly gets swapped back and forth between the two main parties while the NDP and Green candidates are distant also-rans. Widespread outrage over their MP casting in with Carney instead of the smarmy sore loser who couldn’t even win his own frickin seat in the last election seems unlikely. There’s just not the same interest in owning the libs or playing footsy with western separatists as there is other parts of Canada.
Kurt Holman, the MP for London-Fanshawe, had this final gift to add:
I gave him an Amazon Fire Stick just hours before he crossed the floor. Now I want my gift back, just like the people of Markham-Unionville want their votes back!
It’s a bold choice of gift for a Canadian politician to brag aboot since we’re all meant to be boycotting certain American products thanks to MAGA skullfuckery, and lining Jeff Bezos’s pockets in particular is no longer considered a good look. But at least the devices come with the option for CBC Gem, the free and surprisingly robust Canadian streaming service provided by our national public broadcaster that Conservatives never shut up about wanting to defund.
[CP24 / Qub Radio / CBC / Wonkette Bluesky]
BONUS POINTS for “yo-yoing Ma.”
OT: Mrs. Toomush just demanded that I come into the bathroom and look in the toilet. Our little cat, Luna (a dead ringer for the Wonkette cat) has taught herself to use it. At first, we thought it was just pee, but, lo and behold, there are two cat turds lying in the bottom of the basin!...