443 Comments

Matt needs to have Madison Cawthorn give him the skinny on all the orgies. Or maybe turn off Safe Browsing and live a little.

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And he has a sad about it.

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Sounds painful!

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Guess he's never been to Capitol Couples or Miami Velvet with Roger Stone!

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Never been, now I wanna go! https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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Probably because they don't get much sex themselves. I mean, sex with Mitch McConnell or Louie Gohmert? Ecchhhh!

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An orgy is sort of a dinner party on your back, or so I'm told.

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I say 5. 4 is just garden variety wife swapping. Another requirement is at least 2 have to be strangers. As in the other 3 don't know them. Oh what fun was had the summer of 86.

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"Straight people aren’t going to orgies. They’re not! I’ve never known, I’ve never encountered a heterosexual person who’s been to an orgy." The right wing standard for truth - it's never happened with anyone I know, therefore it's not true.

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But the poor conservatives are such VICTIMS! https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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"...get lectured and scolded by public health authorities..."

More projection? The only people giving lectures and scolding everyone around them are people who find vaccine shots, masking and social distancing to be some kind of infringement on their right to wallow in their Peter Pan Syndrome. PPS is the dreaded affliction where the patient never grows up. There is a common misconception that PPS only strikes people with XY chromosomes. People with XX chromosomes also suffer PPS. Good examples of this can be found in congress today with obvious cases among the congressional delegations from Georgia and Colorado.

There have, in the past, been many quack cures tried for PPS: leather belts, sternly worded notes from school teachers sent home, public shaming and brightly colored street signs alerting PPS sufferers about traffic laws and the existence of other actual people in a universe where the iron clad laws of physics never fail. To date nothing has worked.

But take heart! Modern medical science has been testing a new pharmaceutical compound with a much too long chemical name to be written out here. The acronym is STFU. The good news is that STFU is free and widely available. The bad news is that the delivery method for STFU involves actually talking to a PPS patient. The clinical trials for this miracle cure have been limited to the outpatient clinic of Wonkette Institute For Advanced Scienterrific Stuff. But the FDA has recently extended approval for new clinical trials to be held in Pennsylvania at the prestigious Fetterman School of Medicine.

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Tell me you've never actually sexually satisfied another person, without saying that you've never actually sexually satisfied another person, Matt.

Hung up incels gonna hung up. :P

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I didn't ask but I assume so. Food also messes with the absorption of said boner pills.

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Wee Willy Winkie!

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