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User's avatar
UncleTravelingMatt's avatar

The jury has been sent home.

Motion to dismiss denied.

"Ya know, Your Honor, the State just wasted 4 hours of my time. 4 hours of the court and court staff's time. If any other litigant in any other case failed to produce a necessary witness for trial, at bare minimum they'd be held in contempt. I don't see why the State should be held to a lesser standard then Every. Other. Litigant."

Well, you see, it's not fair to punish the taxpayers for the State's fuck ups. (I'm paraphrasing.)

"Who pays my fee? My client? Do I just get to eat a 4 hour loss? That's $1400. Completely avoidable, and entirely due to the State's actions."

Well . . . It's just the one time.

I am pissed.

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BillEGoatSmile's avatar

ggggrrrrrrrr

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UncleTravelingMatt's avatar

The judge decided to let me cool off a bit before reconvening. Then he let the prosecutor talk.

You see, the Defendant is my client, therefore it's my job to produce him for trial. Even if he's in custody, all I have to do is file a motion to transport.

They moved him last night some time. He wasn't able to call me and tell me, because different jail, different phone card. I didn't find out he was gone until I went back to the jail to talk to him at 7 AM.

We ended up taking another break. This is the first time I've ever gotten the hot-head-heave-ho twice in one day.

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Alpaca22's avatar

https://twitter.com/ElieNYC/status/1752009176312627513

Elie Mystal

The most on-brand MAGA thing you'll see today

For those without Twitter it reads

If we secede, do we still get our social security checks

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Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

I do enjoy that the secessionists truly believe if there ever were a split (the answer is no and for further information please refer to the legal case "Lee vs. Grant, 1861-1865") we would just let them keep all that stuff and not, say, destroy all the government property we couldn't relocate.

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

No dearies.

Nor do you get US military pork projects, nor do you get highway maintenance and infrastructure funding, nor do you get the Federal border patrol keeping out the Messicans and South American Messicans.

You get nothing. Nada. Zilch.

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Maureen's avatar

Good day!

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You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

I see dolts driving around Texas with their "SECEDE!" stickers on their trucks, I sometimes wish I could take them off the battlefield but then I remember they're pathetic posers and I go on about my business.

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PhoenixDogLover's avatar

What do we have for our guests, Johnny?

Well, Bob, each one of our guests will receive a discount coupon at Discount Tire, and a copy of the board game "Risk".

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BillEGoatSmile's avatar

And kiss your Medicare goodbye as well.

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Rank Member's avatar

And your farm subsidies too, also.

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PhoenixDogLover's avatar

"Your EBT card balance is Zero."

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BillEGoatSmile's avatar

There's probably some oil subsidies as well.

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No Quid Bro Code's avatar

Gee, I’m starting to doubt that they thought out this “government tyranny” crusade.

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HooverVilles's avatar

Ummmmmm,

𝙉𝙊

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Spotts1701's avatar

...

"Whoa, dumber than advertised..." - Yakko Warner

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

These are the people who tell the government to keep its hands off our Medicare!

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User's avatar
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Jan 29, 2024
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42tontom's avatar

It would be like Paul Bremer’s vision of Iraq - a libertarian paradise!

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Totally forgot about L. Paul Bremer, you know, Jerry!

Turns out he is still alive and grifting at 82, keeping alive the very precious and very conservative link between William F. Buckley and Yale.

https://buckleyinstitute.com/buckley-announces-establishment-of-paul-bremer-fellowship-fund

Consequences never go near these guys.

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Chemical's avatar

When Texas won its sovereignty from Mexico, the nation went deeply into debt and they had to be bailed out by the United States. This is actually why the US annexed Texas -- it was part of a debt payoff deal.

And as a reminder, slavery was legal in Texas at the time. In other words, Texans had access to a free source of labor and still ended up in debt. Imagine being so goddamn stupid that you have to declare bankruptcy when you have someone doing your job for free.

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User's avatar
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Jan 29, 2024
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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Pretty soon they'll all be like Khreestmaas Sooocks.

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Schmannity's avatar

"This is the Trump stock market because my polls against Biden as so good that investors are projecting I will win, and that will drive the market up," Trump posted. "Everything else is terrible (watch the Middle East), and record-setting inflation has already taken its toll. Make America Great Again!!!"

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Momo's avatar

"Vote for me! Everything is terrible!"

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Or.G's avatar

Sure, Jan.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

And that "record-setting inflation" is the result of deliberate price gouging by avaricious 1% seeking to make MORE of what they already have too damned much of that they're loathe to pay the appropriate federal taxes upon.

You know; Drumpfenfuehrer's most ardent supporters.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Gag this vile treasonous motherfucker permanently.

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JamesSmith's avatar

OT something crazy is happening in the House

"“This is to notify you formally pursuant to rule 8 of the rules of the House of Representatives that the office of the sergeant at arms for the House of Representatives has been served with a grand jury subpoena for documents issued by the U.S. Department of Justice”"

https://x.com/Acyn/status/1752047801695891880?s=20

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tek's avatar

DOJ has subpoenaed Mike Johnson's Covenant Eyes history.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

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Mighty Little Dog's avatar

What it is ain’t exactly clear

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Dirty-Work's avatar

Leopard eats its own face.

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Anonymous Venezuelan's avatar

Rule 8 gets you every time.

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gnomemansanisland's avatar

And rule 34 lets you go.

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Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Come and go

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Jen of Defense (War!)'s avatar

and always too soon

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V4Virginia's avatar

Did somebody drop a dime on Gaetz?

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

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JamesSmith's avatar

speculation is that or something for Jan 6

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V4Virginia's avatar

Wait - are they gonna arrest Nikki Haley for not protecting the Capitol????

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V4Virginia's avatar

Also good!

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Jen of Defense (War!)'s avatar

I saw a thing the other day that the latest on that bit of fun was that now the deep state is covering things up by not letting Republicans release ALL the footage even though it was Republicans who selected what to release.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

My gut instinct indicates this is related to January 6.

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Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

‘Well, Yes’: Steve Forbes Begrudgingly Tells Fox Host the U.S. Really Did Have the World’s Best Economic Recovery Post-Pandemic

https://www.mediaite.com/tv/well-yes-it-does-steve-forbes-begrudgingly-tells-fox-host-the-u-s-really-did-have-the-worlds-best-economic-recovery-post-pandemic/

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Brando's avatar

"But this ruins our narrative!"

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SkeptiKC's avatar

It would've been exceedingly appropriate to close by thumbing his nose and articulating a mocking "Neener-neener!".

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Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

But Whatabout the vibes, man? The vibes!

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You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

The numbers are good, but people FEEEEL uneasy about the direction of the economy, perhaps because we keep forecasting a recession every few weeks.

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Jen of Defense (War!)'s avatar

"We tried like hell for 3 years to get us into a recession but fucking Americans wouldn't do it!"

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Dirty-Work's avatar

How can Biden possibly deal with Iran from outside the Oval office? Is he too busy campaigning to keep America safe? Same fuckin way he beat trump's sorry ass last time "from his basement."

Man's got game.

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Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

Any accusation that Biden can’t President while campaigning falls on deaf ears.

Trump has spent more time in a courtroom than on the campaign trail.

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Jen of Defense (War!)'s avatar

Biden cannot possibly do presidenting while campaigning unlike TFG who never stopped campaigning ever.

Yer american press corpse.

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Pope Scipio Haverhillicus's avatar

The Texas border area is going to become the biggest circus on the planet. If I were Biden I'd let those people twist in the wind for as long as possible and get as much footage of those idiots into the media as possible. Slowly crank the legal screws on the individuals issuing illegal orders and let the rest make fools of themselves.

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

God Convoy. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Jen of Defense (War!)'s avatar

I'd ask Mexico if it were ok to float a barge right smack in the middle of the river, with big banners on it that said "Caution: Texas put razor wire in the water- come here for asylum claims" but en Espanol.

The ask Mexico part would be to get them to innocently happen to have a dock or pier that just so happens to reach just about to where the barge is sitting

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President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

What is President Biden doing to solve the toilet paper shortage in my house? It's been over two years--when will the President own this problem?

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Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

This morning on MSNBC: Biden promised retaliation for American deaths in Jordan and 24 hours later WE STILL DON'T KNOW!

And a chryon a minute later: AMERICA BRACES FOR RACE BETWEEN TWO OLDEST CANDIDATES EVER!

JFC. America braces for hurricanes, assholes. Just stop it.

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tek's avatar

Breathlessly reporting everything as BREAKING NEWS!11!!1 for the past few decades means they have to turn it up to 11 for everything. And it means nothing.

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You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

They love writing stories on the "Nobody wants another Trump Biden matchup" angle while ignoring the reason is TRUMP not Biden FFS.

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Mr blob's avatar

Border crisis participant has a question for the audience:

https://x.com/bluehogreport/status/1751994483120411029?s=46&t=QTHD9GMfDGpAyfUoOmtJMw

I can still get my government money checks sent to my new country address right?

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Rooster Cogburn's avatar

"There's no such thing as a stupid question*"

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Pandora's avatar

No.

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

OMFG. Please tell me that's not real. Please.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

You know just as well as I do that there are confederate crackpots pondering that very question.

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SkeptiKC's avatar

I felt SO desperately grateful that paul retired from the military a few years ago this morning.

Now guilt is consuming me.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Toss this harpy out.

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Daniel's avatar

Not watching, what happened?

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Asking if Biden takes the Presidential election into account when making the decisions about response to the deaths of American soldiers. Presstitute being a presstitute.

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Daniel's avatar

Just absolutely wedded to that horse race.

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Hops: 86/47 or bust's avatar

This has turned unusually stupid, even for this WH MSM crew. Out.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Another totally stupid leading MSM hates Joe Biden question.

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Hops: 86/47 or bust's avatar

Nobody wears a pink jacket this early in the week.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

Not for another two days.

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User's avatar
Comment deleted
Jan 29, 2024
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Pauly2coffees's avatar

She brought the style to collaboration.

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Hops: 86/47 or bust's avatar

Harpo Marx takes umbrage at your assertion.

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blueicebank's avatar

OT.

Happy birthday, Dr. Strangelove, released on this day in 1964.

"Dr Strangelove at 60: is this still the greatest big-screen satire"

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2024/jan/29/dr-strangelove-stanley-kubrick-anniversary

It's one-liners remain in our vocabulary.

"Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."

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Brando's avatar

"Major Bat Guano....if that is your real name."

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Richard S's avatar

"I CAN WALK!"

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Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

"Abbott" must be English for "Merkwurdigliebe".

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John Thorstensen's avatar

"Here we go! Toe to toe with the Russkies in thermo-nucular combat!"

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Rooster Cogburn's avatar

"Fryin' chickens in the barnyard!"

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John Thorstensen's avatar

Did you ever see a Commie drink a glass of water, Mandrake?

I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I deny them my ... essence.

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DeVoid's avatar

"Although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority."

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President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

I don't think it's fair to condemn an entire program because of a single slip-up.

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DeVoid's avatar

"You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company."

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Pauly2coffees's avatar

Our precious bodily fluids.

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Carstonio's avatar

I read the original Fail Safe novel, and I assumed the authors were old-school conservatives - they portray the Kennedy stand-in as a dilletante and treat liberals as ignorant peace-loving fools.

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Pauly2coffees's avatar

Both films are great, but I agree that Fail Safe had a more nuanced take, which is unsurprising considering that Strangelove is a farce.

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Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

"Fail Safe" played it straight. "Dr. Strangelove" played it for the absurdity of the situation.

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User's avatar
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Jan 29, 2024Edited
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eggs ackly-wright's avatar

purity of essence

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President Rufus T. Superfly's avatar

I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed!

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HooverVilles's avatar

doG dang, I desperately this uplifting brain cleanser.

Here it is incase anyone else needs it too!

https://substack.com/profile/157525103-hoovervilles/note/c-48389731?r=2lsb5b

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You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

Lookin' cozy!

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