Discover more from Wonkette
Come, Listen To Michael Flynn's Autotune Robot Voice Shine In This QAnon 'We Are The World' ... Thing
The cringe is unbearable.
We all have our guilty pleasures. I have many, and chief among them is when terrible people decide to sing terrible songs. I love it when rich reality show people try to have musical careers and put out completely batshit, off-key, auto-tuned songs about how fabulous their lives are (the exception being Candiace from Real Housewives of Potomac — “Drive Back” is legit jam that I love with no irony whatsoever.). I love it when Mormons do Mormon-centered parodies of popular songs. I love it when wacky conspiracy theorists and right-wing zealots try to make their own terrible political anthems.
So you can imagine how excited I was when I saw the news that a whole bunch of QAnon/anti-vax loons got together to do their own “We Are The World” … type thing. Especially when I got a taste of noted Pizzagate Idiot Liz Crokin’s unedited vocal contribution.
DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS.
The whole thing debuted on Friday, a project organized by Jimmy Levy, a well-known pro-Trump crooner whose claim to fame is having been an American Idol contestant for all of two seconds (made it to Hollywood, eliminated in round three of Hollywood week). The chorus also includes an incredibly autotuned, to the point of sounding like a bleep-bleep-bloop-bloop robot, Gen. Michael Flynn, former Newsmax host Grant Stitchfield, Forgiato Blow, best known for turning Marjorie Taylor Greene into a sexy video vixen, a bunch of minor MAGA world celebs, with a sprinkling of reality show randos and Jimmy Levy’s relatives (who are also reality show randos) — King Bau, Marcus Rogers, James McCoy Taylor, Bobby Sauce, Forgiato Blow, Mesus, Jessica Dutta, Conservative Ant, Stella Escobedo, Big Nik, Angela Stanton King, Siggy Flicker, Michelle Terris, Zoe Levy and Jill Levy.
Are you so excited? Or so ready to hate me? Either works!
“Amidst a firmament consumed by the oppressive grip of government overreach and tyrannical control,” the title card reads, “a man by the name of Jimmy Levy emerged, poised to make a difference. Fuelled (sic) by the holy spirit, he set out to bring together a group of gifted individuals. United by a common thread, they poured their souls into recording the timeless and evocative hymn of FREEDOM.”
So the concept here is that they are all wearing shirts that say FREEDOM, while singing about stuff that no one is trying to do to them. So timeless, really! And vague.
You can take all our money, but you can’t have our souls.
You can burn down our buildings and we’ll still find a home.
We’ll all stick together and we’ll never surrender
We won’t give up our freedom.
Let us take a look at some of the lesser known cast of characters, shall we!
James McCoy Taylor: He is listed as a former Bachelor contestant, but had such little impact that even my sister had to Google to figure out who he was. “It was JoJo's season - it was so long ago… Who cares!,” she tells me. My own Google search tells me that he is very Trumpy and a little QAnon-y. Looks like Jojo dodged a bullet.
Siggy Flicker: Okay, so Siggy Flicker is actually famous to me, but not to most of you. The first time I encountered her, she was recovering from a facelift, wearing a babushka and drinking bisque from a straw as a new cast member of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Admittedly, I was 1000% here for that. No notes!
But she got increasingly wacky and not in a fun, whimsical, soup-through-a-straw way.
Now, when everyone got mad at her for walking in the POSCHE boutique fashion show after the owner, Kim D, was spreading rumors about Teresa, Margaret Josephs criticized her excuse that Kim D hadn’t been shitty to her by saying “But Siggy, Hitler would have not killed me. Does that make him a good person?” and Siggy, who is Jewish, claimed that simply saying “Hitler” was an unforgivable act of anti-Semitism — and now she’s hanging around Liz Crokin, who goes around talking about the Rothschilds and promoting Pizzagate and Qanon, both blood libel-adjacent conspiracy theories? Really?
King Bau: King Bau/Joseph Baumann is an MMA Guy/Aspiring Rap Battler/Weird Qanon guy who went viral last year for blaming the loss of a game on putting in 30 all nighters on an NFT he was developing that was “gonna change the fight game” and also several herpes outbreaks.
And then again for randomly accusing Jimmy Kimmel of being a pedophile, while also promoting his NFTs.
Angela Stanton-King: So this lady wasn’t on Real Housewives of Atlanta, but she was brought up a lot because she wrote some crazypants book about Phaedra Parks (who has made mistakes but I still love her because she is hilarious) being a criminal mastermind who made her steal cars or something. Then she became a kooky QAnon lady, got pardoned for her supposed Phaedra-ordered criminal activities by Donald Trump and went on Dr. Phil to be shitty to her trans daughter.
Loving this post? Not a free or paid subscriber yet? Let’s fix that!
Zoey Levy: Jimmy Levy’s sister, also rejected by American Idol, also has American Idol listed as her primary credential.
Jill Levy/Dahne: Jimmy Levy’s mom, who is a psychic and is listed as a “Reality TV Star, Matchmaker, Investigator and Author,” though I can’t figure out what she was on, except for American Idol during her son’s audition. During which she used her psychic powers to tell Lionel Richie that he needed to juice.
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
There’s also a Pussycat Doll somewhere in the mix.
Personally, I can’t wait to see what kind of incredible grift is going to come from all of this. I hope that there is a follow-up about Adrenochrome. Or maybe “Do They Know It’s Apocalypse Time?” The possibilities, truly, are endless.
Anyway, I apologize for having tortured you with this and I appreciate you all indulging me in this nonsense. You may all go enjoy better music now, and also talk amongst yourselves because OPEN THREAD.