Comedian-On-Journalist Violence Is Real And Spectacular

So apparently there is some Dante's Inferno Ninth Circle hellscape called the "Funniest Celebrity" contest where "celebrities" (oh god is that term used loosely) make with the funny and give the money to charity. The most recent of these events happened last night in DC, and thank god we did not know about it in advance because if we had we would have moved heaven and earth to stop such a terrible thing from coming into being. What kind of celebrities would you have gotten to hear from? Glad you asked! How about Ralph Nader? Grover Norquist? Now those are two dudes whose very names are super synonymous with high-larious. Maybe they're just outliers. Maybe past participants of this thing have been actually funny.

What's that you say? Past winners of this thing include Mike Huckabee and that numbnuts from The Daily Caller, Jamie Weinstein? Is there some definition of "funny" that I was previously unaware of? Jesus. Be right back, killing self so as to not think about this any longer.

OK, wait. I've decided to cling to life for just a bit longer because this glorious thing happened at last night's show and has effectively wiped out any discussion of Weinstein's incisive wit or Nader's dry humor:

Daily Beast senior correspondent Josh Rogin took to Twitter on Wednesday, and accused comedian [and headliner/host] Dan Nainan of assaulting him.[...]

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