364 Comments

From Crimson Tide:

Capt. Ramsey: Speaking of horses did you ever see those Lipizzaner stallions.Hunter: What?Capt. Ramsey: From Portugal. The Lipizzaner stallions. The most highly trained horses in the world. They're all white?Hunter: Yes, sir.Capt. Ramsey: "Yes, sir" you're aware they're all white or "Yes, sir" you've seen them?Hunter: Yes, sir I've seen them. Yes, sir I was aware that they're are all white. They are not from Portugal; they're from Spain and at birth, they're not white; they're black. Sir.Capt. Ramsey: I didn't know that. But they are from Portugal. [Chuckling]Capt. Ramsey: Some of the things they do, uh, defy belief. Their training program is simplicity itself. You just stick a cattle prod up their ass and you can get a horse to deal cards. [Chuckles]Capt. Ramsey: Simple matter of voltage.

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You're a libtard.

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Subtle shade at Jared, from Chelsea Clinton (who I didn't realize had an MPH, or taught MPH classes):

https://twitter.com/Chelsea...

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Clue is one of the most underrated comedies of the 1980s.

Oh and fuck Bill Maher. I am so done with his faux pretentiousness.

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But Republicans would have a meltdown if she did. Conspiracy theories and investigations would abound.

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Fair, but can we at least agree that both Earth Prime John Oliver and Mirror Universe John Oliver would be incapable of growing facial hair?

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Oh no doubt. Which was her point.

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Thank you.

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Obscene wealth does have the advantage of (usually) buying you a long life ...

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I worked at a place that had Steak-umm on the menu.

Some people [stifles snickering] thought it would be hilarious to change the menu to “Scrotum.” (This happened periodically.) So Dave was behind the counter, and a customer asked after scanning the menu: “What’s a scrotum?” Dave: “Excuse me?”

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Jesus?It's in the bible (somewhere).

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But we're not. China came clean after the first couple of weeks. They behaved sanely and showed what they were doing and how it worked.

We (Trump) hid the danger for a month, changed stories every other day, stole essential goods from the states, refused to help. and three months later are still stealing, lying, and blocking much of the usage of one of our two best weapons, testing.

Trump thinks he can still fool us into thinking the problem isn't so bad, even after three months of making things worse by ignoring the experts.

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There's nothing "faux" about Maher's pretentiousness. It's the real deal.

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No. Just no.

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