10 Comments

bill scannell should run for office somewhere up there. we at wonkette have never put one of our own in office and i think it's about time to take our country back.

AK would be the best place to start.

Expand full comment

All she really needs to do is just change her name to X.

Expand full comment

can we draft you?

Expand full comment

I just spent 20 mins googling 'shit or go blind' and it is my new favorite . It shall be worked into emails at work this very week.

Expand full comment

The election commission might require a "mer-cow" (or arctic manatee) on cross-country skis.

Expand full comment

"Fill in the oval." That's what Levi told Bristol! [rim shot]

"Let the right one in." That's what Sarah told Bristol! [rim shot]

Expand full comment

If you by "red crayons" you means "penises", and by "oval" you mean "vagina" and by "boxes" you mean "brains", and by "handing" you mean "masturbation", and by "gigantic" you mean "former governor's" .... then the answer is "yes" -- that's how the mama and papa grizzlies make baby grizzlies to deduct on their income taxes.

Expand full comment

If they can't just just select a picture of the candidate how about choosing from: a. GOP - Grumpy b. Democrat - Bashful c. Libertarian - Dopey d. Write-in - Sleepy e. Green - Sneezy

Expand full comment

Isn't somebody supposed to be "getting behind" somebody else? That's how they'd do it back in the day.....

Expand full comment

Should we wear PolarFleece? Tropical shirts and flip-flops could be kinda obvious.

Expand full comment