710 Comments
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Boojum's avatar

The Onion editorial board has accurately described the position of editorial boards (other than Our Wonkette) across the world.

https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-stands-with-israel-because-it-seems-like-yo-1850922505

Schmannity's avatar

I'm not sure why I was not informed, but the 2023 Wife Carrying World Championship was held in Finland this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbRj1R6jW2w

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

But it was featured in Obscure Sports Quarterly Magazine! The prize money is $50,000!

Rick's avatar

I gave my black cat extra treats and burned sage. Regardless it was a super bizzarro day at work with the computer system being all f'ed up and making random calls. more fun tonight

DDB9000's avatar

Just like other fake ''holidays'', friday the 13th has never meant anything to me at all.

In fact it is so insignificant there's nothing more to say...

Tessie's avatar

*Not Piper Laurie

slightly salty's avatar

That doggo has the same color hair as me. Thats how i know Cassius is special!

GladysKravitz'sCurtains's avatar

While no one murdered me in my dreams, they did ask me to make them omelettes, which somehow resulted in a fire on an industrial-size gas stove.

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

On my Friday the 13th, I took the day off and absolutely nobody from work bothered me. I’ll call that a win.

El Bastardo's avatar

You do not need to have any opinions on this.

_Our Flag Means Death_ is the sweetest show on television.

There.

I said it.

bluePNWcats's avatar

It's so clever and funny and genuine 😻. My son and I both love it.

insolenthedgehog's avatar

I adore that show. Having taught a course on pirate societies, I'm happy theyve included real life, somewhat lesser known figures like Stede Bonnet, Mary Reade, Anne Bonney, and Zheng Yi Sao.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

I’ll have to check it out. What streaming service is it on?

Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

I believe it's on Hulu, that weirdo channel that allowed me to sign up for an account without actually allowing me to, you know, access their services.

Biff52 vrag naroda's avatar

Max, the one I can't afford?

Gerry Ochenta y Dos's avatar

I have a very strong opinion, which is that you are right! Sad your comment doesn't have 1,000 updoots

Cthulhu's avatar

Librarian here. I don't know if the moon is full, or the eclipse is driving people around the bend, but it has been a weird ass week in the stacks. You weirdos stay safe out there.

Mildred Downey Broxon's avatar

Er--if the moon were full we would not be having a solar eclipse. It doesn't work that way. Moon between Earth and Sun = able to block sun. Moon full = on opposite side from Sun, thus fully illuminated. Today it worked as expected, and I watched it at our natural history museum in Albuquerque. Through eclipse glasses, of course.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I caught a brief glimpse of the eclipse (very partial where we're at) between the clouds.

Ill-Advised's avatar

Not only full but solar eclipse! Mo' powerful weirdness! Good lux to all who aren't plagued with rain today.

Robert Eckert's avatar

*new, direct opposite of full

Worriedman's avatar

I'll be honest-I've been a full-blown library nerd since early adolescence. Over 50 years.

"Weird ass week in the stacks"sounds pretty good!

Wookiee Monster's avatar

When I was in college, there was a rash of reports of we called “stack whackers.” You can probably guess what they were caught doing.

Pexas Teat's avatar

Working out with shake weights?

DDB9000's avatar

Nice ''South Park'' reference!

Oblio's Cap's avatar

That was fun! Went to Publix and accosted a few groups of moms and kids and asked them if they wanted to see a solar eclipse. I let them use my glasses and they were all fired up to see it. Maybe I helped to inspire a future Nobel Prize recipient!

Rhizolith Reborn's avatar

So I came across this click-bait article where people posted lame shit they got in lieu of raises, bonuses, promotions or anything else worthwhile. I have reams of shirts and other flotsam from companies "rewarding" me with garbage instead of money.

Anyway, one of the items was just . . . perfect.

https://substack.com/notes?utm_source=user-menu

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Remember NCR? When I worked there they they gave us all tin (SS) cups, I guess in case we needed to go out and beg or something.

Elendira's avatar

Friday the 13th was always considered a lucky day in my family.

It was the day that my dad left Vietnam (whole and hale) and, thanks to the international date line, it was also the day that he was discharged from the Army.

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Cloudy for our partial eclipse today.

SkeptiKC's avatar

Same here. Thank goodness for YouTube.

Oh my dawg...I cannot believe I actually just said that.

SterWonk's avatar

If the House GOP had any brains at all, they'd switch to ranked-choice for their internal stuff -- even for an *informal* internal poll -- to at least see who has a prayer of actually getting 217 in the caucus.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Like anyone in the Republican caucus could understand ranked-choice voting.

Seek's avatar

Like any of the 20 or so nihilists would actually hold to any deal that was made! They'd break the deal and run for the TV cameras to brag on it.