Constitutional Originalist Marsha Blackburn Still Insists On Voting, Owning Property

She’s still not the sharpest knife in a drawer filled with dull knives.

The race for the title of Senate's dumbest Republican continues. Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson remains undefeated, but Tennessee's Marsha Blackburn is young, scrappy, and hungry. Wednesday, during Amy Coney Barrett's Supreme Court Spa Week, Blackburn, who's on the Judiciary Committee because it's not like there's a test or anything, tweeted the following:

Twitter  

Hey, she's right! Blackburn probably had her staff comb through the pocket Constitutions she gives everyone as Christmas stocking stuffers. Or at the very least she just ran a quick edit > find on Google.

Of course, the word “AR-15" also doesn't appear in the Constitution. I checked! Our originalist gun nut senator would never support restricting legal gun ownership to the weapons available in the 18th Century. The gun lobby wouldn't make much bank pushing the sale of ye olde muskets. There'd also be significantly fewer school shootings, but you can't have everything.

Woman of faith and hardcore gun lover Amy Coney Barrett has argued that the Second Amendment protects "an individual's right to protect himself — not in his right to serve in a well-regulated militia." It's not some piddly-ass right that was "exercised for the benefit of the community (like voting and jury service)." Conservative white lady can white lady all she wants, but this Black man's not voting "for the community." I'm voting to protect myself from conservatives.

Gun toters are terrified that Cory Booker-led mobs are going to invade their homes. Rudy Giuliani has spread the baseless claim that protesters threatened to violently assault Mark and Patricia McCloskey. 

"This has never been heard before. I met with the McCloskeys and I have audio tape of the rioters chanting 'We will rape your daughter! We will murder your wife!'" Guiliani said.

Their daughter was under the bed as her parents went to protect her—nobody knows that."

But ... how did the protesters know the McCloskeys had a daughter? This isn't information that appears in travel guides for angry mobs. The McCloskeys' story gets less credible the more they change it. They either overreacted to people walking past their fancy house or under-reacted when a Straw Dogs mob threatened to murder them. They should find the Goldilocks version and stick with it.

I get it, though. The gun-dependent want to feel secure in their homes, and SimpliSafe isn't good enough. However, most women want to feel secure in their persons, without fear of intrusion from the state. Yes, the word “abortion" literally doesn't appear in the Constitution, but Roe v. Wade ruled that the 14th Amendment protects a woman's right to privacy. 

Anti-choice conservatives mock this reading of the due process clause, even though there are ample “pro-life" options for self-defense that don't involve shooting someone: If genuinely afraid for their lives, the McCloskeys could've retreated into their home. It wasn't made of straw, so was reasonably “huff and puff" proof. They could've called the cops and waited for them to resolve the situation. However, guns emboldened them to confront the crowd and escalate the situation, because guns make everything worse.

Conservatives comprehend the right to privacy when defending the rights of Americans to choose how they wish to defend themselves, but they are suddenly very literal when a woman's bodily autonomy is concerned. Barrett claimed that the Second Amendment was too often treated as a “second-class right," but it's not guns that should worry about their rights with a Justice Barrett on the Supreme Court.

[ Associated Press ]

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