282 Comments
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BrianW's avatar

The librarian at my wife's school just got her results back. Fortunately, they were negative. It was a tense couple of days around this place.

lmurr's avatar

Anus exudes a chemical from his... well, anus, that compels people exposed to it to lose their minds and flush their reputations, careers and lives down the shitter in order to make him happy.

Stulexington's avatar

Sir, for the last time there's no stock in back, just what you see on display.

bryan lewis's avatar

Who says Hahn has crediblilty? He is an oncologist--what is he doing running the FDA? One would think and expert in public health or food and drug safety would run the agency. Hahn just a few weeks would not contradict Dear Leader's statement that Covid is no big for 99% of the people who get it. I'm sure his appointment has nothing to do with the fact he is a long time big Republican donor.

Sunhead's avatar

Yeah, true.But... but... the free hand of the market.Hell, if he manages to steal the election we would probably send in UN and MSF teams to vaccinate the unfortunate.

Tuxedocat's avatar

I’m waiting for him to start promoting hemlock.

Good enough for Socrates!

chronozoan's avatar

Numbers don't lie. That's why liars always use them.

Sir David Chaillou, KSW  💋's avatar

I'm sorry, Liz, but (Mayo study results) a reduction in mortality rate from 11.6% to 8.9% is a 23% reduction in mortality. It means that in a group of 10,000 critically ill patients, you'd end up with 890 dead instead of 1,160 dead, thus saving 270 lives.

No self-respecting statistician would call it a 2.7% absolute reduction. That's like saying safety belts don't save lives, because they only save about 30,000 drivers and passengers out of 300 million - an absolute reduction of 0.01%.

kermit's avatar

Bless you all!

Watchout for the terrorists, though.

Lance Thrustwell's avatar

11.6 - 8.9 = 23?

Wow, math is so weird.

Evil Dr Päntsdrunk's avatar

...and you're not sharing your physics theories with us Wonkeratti? We're not good enough for your death rays and alternative relativity quantum mechanics disproofs b/c we wear pants, right? RIGHT? (grumbles about pants, quarks and black holes)

Sir David Chaillou, KSW  💋's avatar

8.9/11.6 = (1 -23%).

I'm a self-respecting statistician.

You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

I don't mind sharing a little, I don't claim to actually have a cohesive theory per se, just bits and pieces that rattle around in my noggin. No death ray plans unfortunately. #1: Time does not elapse. Discuss among yourselves..