623 Comments

“Cockies”, as they are sometimes known Down Under, are quite resourceful at procuring human vittles:

https://youtu.be/l8NOR1L1-sg?si=vs6EajXYvYyeEgjA

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You would be familiar with the Dumb Gullah birbs also?

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Hysterical! Smart cookies! And smart cockies, also too.

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PIZZA BIRB HEIST

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Brit families had a problem with tits (the little birds) figuring out how to punch a hole through the tops of milk bottles delivered to the doorstep and helping themselves.

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I recall that they were used as an example of learned behavior in psychology class. And pretty much only the tit's.

Until they caught them in the act, it was confusing for the public. What was happening to their milk...?

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You SAY it was the bird type, but I'm imagining a MUCH more entertaining scenario.

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I think you have the direction of milk flow confused.

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Who even knows how those things work?

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Perhaps those of us who have lactated, to name one large group. I know it was a joke, but having been the producer does change your perspective.

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I suppose it would! Point taken!

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Clearly more close-up research is required.

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Why, aren't those two lovelies thoughtful, taking care of the trash? 😁

I love how they remind me of construction workers eating their lunch on the job.

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Oz and New Zealand have pilfering parrots.

Here in the PNW we have reprobate raccoons.

What is your region's notorious beastie?

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Not my region, but we once visited an island in the middle of Lago Trasimeno in Italy. The island was a little strange because it was overrun with quail and rabbits. It seems all the animals were in competition for food. We were waiting for the ferry to take us off the island and eating snacks. Lady AIB was waving a chip in the air to make a point and a sparrow swooped down and pilfered it from her hand. She was shocked; the rest of us laughed. We were all glad to leave the island.

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Feral parrots in Silicon Valley. Saw a flock of them just yesterday.

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Javelina.

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I don't see raccoons often; maybe I don't live close enough to town? But there's an enormous local raven that picks all the bones and meat from my compost pile for me. (Yes, I know you're not supposed to compost bones and meat; I don't, because Raven)

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Seagulls

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Possums.

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Here in yankee country it's got to be either deer or the groundhog. Cute as hell, hell on gardens.

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Are we premature in accusing those boids? They sure look capable of picking up the phone and ordering their pizza...

But, can't forget that stolen l̷i̷q̷u̷o̷r̷ ̷ food tastes better than purchased l̷i̷q̷u̷o̷r̷ ̷ food...

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Way down in the tropics

Where pizza pirates sail

The buccaneers have feathers

And perch on metal rails

They like to gobble greedily

And hold it with their feet

It's a Jolly Roger picnic

When it's time to eat

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Burma Shave

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I really enjoy your verses and this one was especially good. Tripped off the tongue very nicely.

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Thanks. It all comes from Martini's graphic inspiration.

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Ahem... and your best friend IS a part-time muse. That must help a little.

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Immensely!

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That's more like it, mister. 😁

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It was the pineapple on the pizza that got their attention. FAFO.

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They can have it.

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And we call stupid people bird brains - wrong! Those birds are smart and cute enough to get away with it.

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Pizza Guy: “Pepperoni pizza!”

Italian accent: “Leave it at the door!”

Pizza Guy: “What about 17 bucks?”

Sweet female voice: “There’s a twenty in the mailbox, dear.”

Italian accent: “Better be plenty of crackers.”

Sweet female voice: “Pepperoni, dear.”

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Pizza Guy: “There's nothing in the mailbox! Where's my 17 bucks!”

Sweet female voice: “Plenty of crackers.”

Italian accent: “Pepperoni, dear.”

Sweet female voice: “Leave it at the door!”

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Could not, at first, make out what the thieves were nomming; thought they'd been given some baguette! LOVE the pizza post, merci, 'Tini!

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Anyone else reminded of Assmouth’s coif?

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"When she stops feeding us, we'll take her eyes."

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Oct 17
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One of my bro's favorite lines was 'wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex?' and when "NO" was the outraged reply he'd come back with 'Oh, you don't like pizza?"...Miss him so much. 💔

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Pizza is like sex: it's hot and greasy and covered in melted cheese. Wait, no, that's not right!

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Yes, it is.

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Well sometimes on weekends.

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If that's not right, I don't want to be... well, you know.

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Call me.

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Fuck Andrew Jackson.

And fuck Ted Cruz.

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Harris on live now

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Early voting began today in North Carolina. I voted for KAMALA AND TIM and then went celebratory shopping for pie. 😋

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Thank you & Me too on the OPPO coast! 💙

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Child labor: Local sawmill charged with federal crimes, to pay $73K in penalties - UCBJ - Upper Cumberland Business Journal

https://www.ucbjournal.com/child-labor-local-sawmill-charged-with-federal-crimes-to-pay-73k-in-penalties/

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Justice Thomas Seems More Willing To Kill A Possibly Innocent Person Than Mildly Impugn The Reputations Of Prosecutors | Techdirt

https://www.techdirt.com/2024/10/17/justice-thomas-seems-more-willing-to-kill-a-possibly-innocent-person-than-mildly-impugn-the-reputations-of-prosecutors/

Robert Roberson Will Be Executed Because It's Legal to Execute Innocent People in the US | Teen Vogue

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/robert-roberson-execution-innocent

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ExTwitter Makes It Official: Blocks Are No Longer Blocks | Techdirt

https://www.techdirt.com/2024/10/17/extwitter-makes-it-official-blocks-are-no-longer-blocks/

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Granted, whistling past the fascism has been NYT's unwavering tradition for a century now ...

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DO NOT skip over that Onion link; worth it for the David Brooks “quotes” alone! 👍😹

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TY~!

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I am clearly not right in the head.

A couple days after breaking up (again! It's my hobby) with BoyfriendX by text, I just texted him again........ agreeing (finally, 33 years late) to marry him. THAT got an instant, happy reaction, alright.

[I am probably not actually serious about it. Maybe. Frankly, more afraid it *will* happen]

Well, I'd have to get the legal divorcing part done first. Which is planned, yes, haha.

We're pretty ridiculous. 😹

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Speaking as a lawyer, I applaud your recognition that timing matters here. Do get it right.

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😹

Quite a good idea, lol. Yes, HusbX is aware of the relationship, as we are only friends and co-parents now, for a few years. Kiddo is in final year of high school. So, luckily!, there's time to prepare the ground :-D

Many thanks and much appreciation for your levity!

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As a title examiner, I read a number of probates. The most salacious one I ever read involved a man who repeatedly got that timing backwards.

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💀

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Canceled my NYTimes digital subscription yesterday, after 20 years as a subscriber, the last 3 of which has found me more and more irritated with them. They even gave me a space to tell them why. So I did. "Inadequate political news coverage." I was being nice. (I will confess I kept the Games as I am seriously addicted.)

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I know they shouldn't be trying to disenfranchise people anywhere, but Alabama? Was Alabama even close for Trump?

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The Wrong People should never be allowed to think they have a right to representation at the state and local level, much less in the federal House of Representatives.

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What, *another* missing tab? Yes, let's reduce the number of exploding ponies.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/16/wyoming-blowing-up-dead-horses-wildfires

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!!

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Did they learn NOTHING from the ODOT whale bomb of 1970?

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Oh, hey! Bits of the Earth are literally becoming uninhabitable from climate change, there's constant disasters from same, the Middle East is lurching towards a regional war instead of just "berserk leader invades neighbors for no particular reason", corporations are colluding to drive prices up in the name of LINE GO UP, we're edging closer and closer to vigilante militias shooting up the place, wealth continues to be hoovered upwards, optimism for the future seems dead, every country in the world is jumping on the fascism bandwagon, empty storefronts are proliferating like dumbshits at a Trump rally, five corporations control 80% of the media, media CEOs are tossing old shows and books into the trash because "who cares?" even though it's EASIER THAN EVER to distribute them

...BUT LESBIAN DORITO EUCHARIST!!! 🤨

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Two US radio stations end Russian-backed 'propaganda' programming

https://www.voanews.com/a/two-us-radio-stations-end-russian-backed-propaganda-programming/7824863.html

> Last month, the US State Department introduced sanctions that restrict access for Russian state broadcasters and their content to US airwaves

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Did some doctoring of The Big Bolognese after morning covfefe, workout & Tabz; melted a half-cup of grated garlic (2 big heads) in olive oil at the lowest temp, added that and 3 new bottles of organic Italian tomato puree, tasted, ground in some more black pepper, sloshed in some more organic shoyu. Did the traditional tasting by warming some in a cup, dredging a little piece of warmed baguette. Still considering and ruminating.......... but I may simmer another pound or two of Italian sausages to chop & add, before vac-sealing up packages and freezing. I always want to feel I've done the best I can and it really cannot be further improved.

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