334 Comments

Both history and science offer dozens of "issues" that can be stretched out over a lifetime.

Expand full comment

Fortunately, the originalists on the SCOTUS will quickly rule that these fugitive uterus acts violate the long-established right of freedom of movement across state lines and strike them down.

Haha. Jk. We know they’ll maintain that the fiction that state governments aren’t enforcing these laws, private citizens are (even though they’re using the state courts to collect their bounties).

Expand full comment

Little Muffy will always be able to visit her Aunt Becky in Canada because she has a bright future ahead of her and there’s no reason to spoil it with a little whoopsy.

Expand full comment

Aunt Lydia libel.

Expand full comment

It will give your driver something to do during the procedure. Win-Win (Win). (The House always wins.)

Expand full comment

Damon Knight once pointed out that the surveillance state in 1984 would be untenable because of the size of the surveillance bureaucracy that would have been needed to make it work (with the existing technology).

V for Vendetta's system seems more workable if not as efficient.

Expand full comment

Im so glad I’m a) living in the sane part of the state and b) not raising a daughter here.

I don’t know if this has been mentioned but the whole reason for this is they hate the blue cities on the state borders (especially mine), where there are abortion clinics just over (relatively) the state lines.

Expand full comment

I love my Missouri city. And the rivers around it. And the best conservation program for public lands in the 50 fucking states.

I choose to stand and fight right here.

Expand full comment

I really thought these kinds of things would vanish as soon as the first wealthy Republican's daughter got pregnant by the pool boy. I guess not. Maybe when the first one is indicted?

Expand full comment

Okay, you just won the internet.

Expand full comment

It’s the “twenty minutes of action” rule. Wealthy white college-bound kids with promising futures are allowed to do whatever they want for twenty minutes. Have a little abortion, commit a minor rape, shoot up a school, DUI hit and run murder, whatever, just don’t ruin their promising futures over it, all right?

Expand full comment

They just send them out of state, or out of country, it never affects the rich and never has.

Expand full comment

It never has before, it is only to keep poor women poor, and maybe to get them to breed more slaves, for their lucrative Xtian orphanages.

Expand full comment

Yeah that is some creepy shit, that you just know is being misused.

Expand full comment

That is brilliant!

Expand full comment

No gay man friends, that is for sure.

Expand full comment