Crazy Monster Drink Lady Hopes You Appreciate How Much Your Mom Loves Dick
Nah she's not batshit AT ALL.
People spend Mother's Day in very different ways! If you are a mommy or are close to your mommy, you probably had brunch or dinner or played Putt Putt with your mom on Sunday. If you have a toxic relationship with your mom, you scrolled through Facebook like GAHHHHH, seeing everybody else's Mother's Day posts. If your mom has passed, it was probably a sad day, but hopefully one where you remembered her fondly.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/christian-energy-drink-lady-turns-her-crazy-on-demon-sexer-katy-perry"></a>[/wonkbar]But if you are crazy-ass wingnut fundamentalist lady Christine Weick -- yes, she is the crazy Monster drink lady who is pretty sure Muslins are invading Oklahoma and Texas, and who is pretty sure her son won't speak to her because of demon slut Katy Perry -- you spent the day holding a sign out in front of the EconoLodge in Sevierville, Tennessee, exhorting passers-by to thank their mommies for not being gross box-munching lesbians:
Does Christine live in that SUV? MAYBE.
Awwwww, mommy!
You probably totally forgot to give your mom a big hug and thank her for being so crazy for penis that she rode your dad like a stallion all those many years ago, which resulted in the miracle called YOU. Unless your mom is actually a lezzie and she somehow managed to get scissor-pregnant, and medical science is still trying to figure out how you exist.
OR maybe she is a lesbian and she got pregnant some other way, or maybe even you are adopted and your mom is straight, but you're still not remotely thanking her for having a PhD in how amazing dicks are, why are you so ungrateful like that?
So anyway, this is Christine Weick's Mother's Day tradition, apparently. In 2014, she held her "Praise Jesus your mom isn't a lady-loving diddle-monster" sign and another lady threw a slushie at her! This year, she reports that there was no slushie-throwing, but that the EconoLodge staff wanted to turn the garden hose on her, which is LOL. But it turned out OK because they called the cops, and the nice officer said it was perfectly acceptable and legal for her to stand where she was standing, reminding people to reflect on that time their moms' vagina parts were full to the brim of their dads' dicks, because that is the most important part of the fucking Gospels, and if you don't understand such things you are obviously going to hell.
What, you don't remember that part of the Gospels?
Then why is Christine clearly saying in this picture that she is sharing "some Gospel Truth" with these counter-protesters?
Yeah, you all just need to go back and read your Bibles some more, and let us know when you find the part about how choosy moms don't choose Jif, they choose hot, hard, throbbing cock, in Jesus's name, AMEN.
[ Christine Weick on Facebook via Friendly Atheist / RawStory ]
The offspring's mom isn't, either.
The fetus-fetishists are not only floored by pro-choice moms, but are absolutely flabbergasted when confronted with the fact that a hefty percentage of women who get abortions ALREADY have kids. They just make the assumption that if you're pro-choice, you hate kids and don't want one EVER.
If you can't figure out what's wrong with your statement yourself, I'm kind of at a loss as to how to explain it to you. TL;DR: Any time you feel the urge to tell non-consenting people about Gawd, shove your crucifix up your arse sideways & rotate it until the urge goes away.