14 Comments
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malsperanza's avatar

Not infinite: 3.5 million of them.

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malsperanza's avatar

I'm hoping Shrivel's ardent sympathizers on the right will start a Kickstarter campaign to raise the $3.5 million for him (like they did for George Zimmerman). Can we suggest this good idea to them?

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🇺🇦 🇺🇦's avatar

Canadian BLOWUP GIRLFRIENDS don't count.

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Lefty Mark's avatar

Or "SHE'S MY <i>NIECE</i> AND I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING, BUD."

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Lefty Mark's avatar

Strolling hand-in-hand through downtown Ann Arbor. Sharing a blanket in Michigan Stadium...

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bobbert's avatar

Or Keith Ablow me.

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bobbert's avatar

A penguin?

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JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

<i>...made references to his “GIRLFRIEND” in all-caps on his Twitter feed, which is something all straight people do...</i>

Married straight men prefer "ONLY A FRIEND" or "JUST SOMEONE I KNOW FROM WORK"

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The Quirk's avatar

It's sad to see how far Pee Wee Herman has fallen.

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

Were any rabbits hurt?

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Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

Well, I hope he gets a new job soon. How else is he gonna pay off that HYOOGE judgment against him for being Creepy McCreeperson?

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Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."*

*and not one out of an infinite number of salted rat dicks. In a bag somewhere. That he can eat.

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diogenez's avatar

Wow. Did Shirvell boil that poor gay kid's pet rabbit, too?

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Ilgattomorte's avatar

Oh come on! Isn't it bad enough for this poor guy? Do you have to make fun of him as well? He really does have a GIRLFRIEND! It's just that she's from CANADA so it's hard for HER to meet his friends. However, when they get together they totally have STRAIGHT SEX all the time and he gets to touch her BREASTS and VAGINA and everything.

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