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Cuckolded Hubby Wants $10 Million Because School Shrink Banged His Wife; Thanks Obama!
Don't you just hate it when you spend a bajillion dollars (or, okay, $34,000, but still!) to send your kid to a fancy-pants private school in Washington D.C., and the school shrink makes time with your wife? Arthur “Terry” Newmyer sure does -- and that's why he's suing Sidwell Friends School, where the Obama girls are guarded by the A Team, Seal Team 6, and the Knights Templar, for $10 million:
Newmyer first filed suit against Sidwell and its former psychologist in May 2011. He claims the psychologist had an affair with his wife while treating his daughter, then five, and that Sidwell took “flagrant and outrageous actions” that allowed the “open sexual relationship.”
Sidwell Friends isn't just any school; it'stheschool for the spawn of Washington's most arugula-eating, latte-sipping liberal elite:
The school’s parents, students, and alumni include many members of Washington’s most prominent families. President Obama’s two daughters attend Sidwell, as do Vice President Biden’s grandchildren; Chelsea Clinton and Al Gore III both attended the school, as did the children of cabinet secretaries, journalists, business leaders, senators, and congressmen, among others.
Uh oh. President Obama's daughters go there? Sound the Drudge Siren because you know what that means, right? If you do the hokey pokey, squint your left eye, and carry the one, this is probably all his fault maybe? Because his daughters go there, you see, which is EXTREMELY relevant to this story somehow. That is why every single report about it must include Obama in the headline and mention that OMG, his daughters go to the same school! It's like the law or something. And never let it be said your Wonket would flout THE LAW.
Newmyer’s lawsuit always had the potential to rope in some of the high-profile families who knew of the affair or whose children had been in the care of the accused psychologist, James Huntington, who also taught sex education to sixth-grade students during the year one of the Obama daughters was in that grade. That potential turned into a subpoena for Elsa Walsh, wife of journalist Bob Woodward.
The whole story is complicated and salacious and includes very naughty details like this:
In one of the e-mails included in the complaint, Huntington wonders whether he should discuss the affair with Newmyer’s daughter. “Do I talk about masturbating on your face or your marital situation with Terry . . . ? Decisions, decisions, decisions.”
Just as an aside, we think that in general, no, Mr. School Shrink, you should probably not discuss with a five-year-old you are treating about how you'd like to masturbate on her mother's face because then she will just need even more therapy and also, DUDE! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?
But anyway, we digress from the main point, which is that trial has been set for November, and we cannot wait to learn every last titillating detail about how Obama made this man's wife have sex with the school shrink and no one stopped it so please send lots of moneez now.