368 Comments
User's avatar
DemoCat's avatar

If you lose to Marianne Williamson at anything you should reevaluate your entire life, because something’s wrong.

DemoCat's avatar

Yeah, Joe Biden is an old guy. He’s a good man, but an old, good man. What we really need is a slightly less old, 275 lb stack of syphilis bacteria prone to cruelty, dishonesty and corruption. It’s a difficult choice.

Maybe's avatar

And here I thought it was only Repubs who were horrible with math and statistics.

Revenant's avatar

I don't think Donnie Dumbfuck could get 50% approval if the poll was limited to his blood relations.

CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Well, his sister did die, so that reduces the vote against.

Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

I don't know, implying that you have a strong base amongst people that can't be bothered to vote is an interesting strategy to be sure

Jamoche's avatar

The lurkers support him in email...

Revenant's avatar

Deanie Tiny Phillips lost to noted space cadet Marianne Williamson by 487 votes. I would have been willing to bet that fewer than 2,226 people in South Carolina knew who he is and why he is pestering them for his vote.

Robert Eckert's avatar

No, he LOST to the noted space cadet by 487 votes.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Hey, he broke 1 percent!

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

MSNBC had fucking Kornacki on for Christ's sake. There was no competition here. The outcome was not a mystery. So MSM simply made up their own metrics. In order for this to be good for Biden his voters have to be enthusiastic, Black voter turnout must be such and such, people wearing hats must also have a Biden pin, etc. That way he can lose even if he wins! Thanks MSNBC.

Biff52 vrag naroda's avatar

Kornacki is the Jim Cantori of horse race politics.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

TBF, I don’t think it’s possible to keep Kornacki off camera on an election night. It’s his only purpose for living.

Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

He's like Beetlejuice except you say "primaries" three times

AlanInSF's avatar

The moment Williamson's campaign falters, Phillips is ready to step into the breach.

Villago Delenda Est 🇺🇦's avatar

Dean Phillips is a very bad joke. Unlike Pat Paulson.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

Yay, another Legend in his Own Mind.

Maybe's avatar

Phillips suffers from delusions of adequacy.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Completely baffled by Dean Phillips. What is his ultimate goal?

rlcornelius's avatar

Stroke his own ego, I'm guessing.

Santa Fe Dan's avatar

"Joe Biden finished next to next to last, while I was next to next to first place!"

clairence's avatar

participation trophy! Top three out of three. Congrats and keep it up!