Dean Phillips Comes THIS Close To Winning Participation Trophy In South Carolina Primary
Dean Phillips Comes THIS Close To Winning Participation Trophy In South Carolina Primary
This is not cute.
Dean Phillips, the interloper try-hard who’s trying to pick an inappropriate and historically ignorant Democratic primary fight with incumbent President Joe Biden — the kind of thing you simply do not do to incumbent presidents unless you secretly want the other side to win, or have some other ulterior motive, or maybe you just have Dunning-Kruger Syndrome because your mom said you were special as a child and you bought the lie — clearly thinks he’s being cute here:
“Pleased by my top three finish in tonight’s Democratic primary in South Carolina,” he tweeted, with a winky smiley, about a contest that’s only happening in his mind.
Let’s get a closer look.
Thanks, NBC News.
With 97 percent of the vote in, Joe Biden won 96.2 percent of the vote. Second place is bonkers weirdo Marianne Williamson, with 2.1 percent, AKA 2,726 votes. And trailing in third, with 2,239 sad assholes who voted for him — perhaps even intentionally! — is Dean Phillips.
So Joe Biden only beat him by a little bit more than 94 points. Dean Phillips has the president right where he wants him, we reckon. (Biden also recently beat the shit out of Dean Phillips in the New Hampshire primary, where Biden wasn’t technically on the ballot.)
“Guess what % of registered voters participated?” Dean Phillips asked, as if he were making a legitimate point. Incumbent presidents who are running unopposed (for all practical purposes) don’t tend to have high turnout because the primary is a formality, you ingrown pube.
Of course, if Dean Phillips was right that people were crying out for a primary contest, or that he himself was what they were crying out for, you’d think he might be able to muster up more than 1.7 percent of the fewer than five percent of registered voters who showed up. Clearly, he isn’t lighting them on fire.
Polling this far out, and national polling in general, is kind of meaningless, but it’s all over the place. But that’s not stopping Phillips from breathlessly posting any outlier poll he can find, polls that say Donald Trump is winning independents by 20 points. Of course we can all play that game. Oh hey, here’s a very recent one that has Joe Biden up six points, indeed with fully 50 percent support of those polled. (Which is kind of significant since by all appearances, perennial popular vote loser Donald Trump is scientifically incapable of hitting 50 percent.)
Phillips is also obsessively posting about approval ratings, even though there’s significant evidence approval ratings aren’t that important of a metric in 2024, when people vote far more against who they hate than for who they love. Let us tell you, the most loathed and mocked man on earth is on track to win the Republican nomination. It may well not be about “approval rating” in November.
But regardless, we’re left with Phillips’s delusional notion that he’s the answer to the problem he perceives, the notion America would fall in love with him if only they’d wait long enough to get to know him, and until then grade him on a curve and let him stay at the party. (Joe Biden outperformed Dean Phillips in his own district in 2020. While we’re talking about “getting to know people.”)
“Joe Biden is a good man,” Phillips keeps tweeting patronizingly, as if he has the standing to utter those words. Biden is a good man. Dean Phillips isn’t — or the pathetic mid-life crisis doing all these TV interviews and using his name isn’t a good man.
Either way, go the fuck away.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
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If you lose to Marianne Williamson at anything you should reevaluate your entire life, because something’s wrong.
Yeah, Joe Biden is an old guy. He’s a good man, but an old, good man. What we really need is a slightly less old, 275 lb stack of syphilis bacteria prone to cruelty, dishonesty and corruption. It’s a difficult choice.