Dean Phillips Condemns Whoever Said Thing About Running With No Labels, Man, Fuck THAT Guy! (It Was Dean Phillips.)
GTFO.
Very important update on a very important story! We think there’s a lesson here, and it’s that bullying loser spoiler candidate assholes like Dean Phillips works.
This weekend, Phillips, who allegedly thinks he’s helping America by trying to mount a primary campaign against arguably the most effective president in decades because Joe Biden is old, pissed a lot of people off when he said that he couldn’t rule out running third party on a No Labels ticket. (No Labels is, of course, the political outfit that sprouted from Joe Lieberman’s grundle late one night, long after everyone assumed his grundle had gone barren, and started babbling about “unity tickets.” Talking about No Labels is a RICO, we must never do it.)
Phillips said, “It would have to be a Joe Biden-Donald Trump rematch that shows Joe Biden is almost certain to lose,” according to whatever polls he decides he trusts, we guess. (No seriously, whose polls? No Labels has some shitbonkers ones, aw damn RICO-ed again.)
But now though? One day later? Did Dean Phillips say he was going to run as a No Labels? That would be insane if Dean Phillips had said that! No Labels, you say? Dean Phillips labels YOU crazy!
When Phillips was pushed about whether he'd consider running with No Labels if that’s “the best way to beat Donald Trump” — something he'd speculated about just one day earlier — Phillips said that he “cannot imagine doing so.”
LMAO.
Continued:
His chief strategist also ruled out the idea he would run for president on a No Labels ticket should his current Democratic primary bid fail on Monday. “He’s not” running with No Labels, said Jeff Weaver at an event Phillips hosted Monday morning at the Nashua Country Club. “He’s not running outside the Democratic Party.”
Dean Phillips is only going to fuck us from the inside, says [checks notes] Jeff Weaver, yes that Jeff Weaver.
Phillips argued on Monday that if Vivek Ramaswamy or Ron DeSantis, Republican presidential candidates who dropped out since Iowa, were “at the top of a third-party ticket,” then “that would draw votes from President Trump.”
Yessssssss. Carry the two, and what does that spell?
But, he said, “I cannot imagine that the data would suggest that that would be a path that would be successful. I should have made that more clear.”
Maybe next time just start all sentences with “I’d be a clown-boning batshit if I said the following words.” Or end all sentences with, “I’m Dean Phillips, and do I approve this message? Perhaps I don’t.”
But again, this just goes to show that with egotistical whack-a-mole Dunning-Kruger spokesmodels like Dean Phillips, it behooves us to kick the shit out of them early and often.
Unlike Phillips, we know what happens when people primary incumbents in presidential races, and we know what third party spoilers do to presidential races. Phillips claims to believe Donald Trump is a “horrific danger to democracy.”
Now if only we could just disabuse him of the notion that the universe is begging him to be part of the solution.
[Politico]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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Thanks, Evan! I just wanted to congratulate you on some of the better jokes we've seen in a while. In particular, those RICO jokes are suavé.
I finally set up an account to post, because I'm scared to death about the next year. I can't believe people are playing spoiler candidates. Trump is so far beyond dangerous I don't even know how to swallow sometimes.