19 Comments
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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

If the Republican party actually had thinking people in it, they'd be more than a little troubled with the ease that all of the symbolic things that they purportedly regard as valuable , such as being <i>One Of The Troops</i> (That God blesses via ribbon magnet), a <i>Veteran,</i> a <i>Prisoner Of War,</i> literally held by our mortal enemies, actually holds little value just because someone somewhere decided that there were political points to be scored by taking the opposite stance.

If you took a moment to reflect on it at all, it would frighten you, that perhaps none of the things you've sworn fealty to, none of the things you hold dear, none of the things that you know to be valuable actually mean a damn thing when there are political weapons to be made out of you or your situation.

Lucky none of the GOP does any reflecting, they won't notice the only reliable absolute is the craven political gamesmanship.

Sure, GOP. Go for the short-term attack on Obama, who cares about the optics of teevee talking heads literally questioning a POW's patriotism!

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malsperanza's avatar

What a ripoff. Those commies might have come in handy. The Vietnamese restaurants in my neighborhood are crap.

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malsperanza's avatar

Or if your parents are possibly Democrats?

Wait, that can't be right: Democrats' kids don't join the military.

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malsperanza's avatar

Overheard at the GOP Leadership Conference:

Rinse Priebus: OK, gentlemen, here's the Voter Alienation Master Checklist. Ready?

Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Rick Perry: Ready!

Reese Priceless: Women!

All: Check!

Rancid Penis: The Blahs!

All: Check!

Runts Probes: Teh Gayz!

All: Check!

Reins Prurites: The Immigratios!

All: Check!

Rounce Pribbes: Teh Jews, teh Catholics, teh Mooslims!

All: Check!

Rinds Preebles: The Oldz and the babbies!

All: Check!

Preens Princess: OK, I think that's everyone. We forgetting anybody?

McCain: DON'T FORGET THE VETERANS!!11!!1!

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malsperanza's avatar

And did he pass the time by playing a little solitaire?

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The Quirk's avatar

"Advancing to the rear".

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Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

He wasn't retreating. He was merely attacking in another direction!

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Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

his hypocrisy is the worst- of all fucking people to be complaining...

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Capt.Jim's avatar

Here is an idea floating over at Fox. How about lets just start shooting any prisoner who has to be dealt for to be released gawd damn what good are they iffin they cant keep from being captured,we spent all this time and money making sure they were born, probably fed them with snap program to get them to fighting age provide them with the best weapons and then they end up being fuck ups and get captured what a bunch of losers

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bobbert's avatar

Shit, nobody held fucking Walnuts responsible for doing it.

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Mayor_Quimby's avatar

I used to think that this might be our last blah president for a while. Now I'm starting to see that this will definitely be the case. Unless the next guy was born on the fourth of July, in Iowa, on film and lives-treamed, -blogged and -tweeted; to black parents that have lineage going back to Sally Hemmings. Even then, I'm not so sure this isn't the last guy who looks kinda like me until president #88.

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Mayor_Quimby's avatar

No gun oil musk?

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Mayor_Quimby's avatar

Maybe we can send those awesome Israeli spies who killed that dude in that hotel, then were all promptly blown faster than Sterling Archer in a cocktail party full of hot models. I mean, they really need the work right about now!

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Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

Also, please note that "time-in-grade" promotions for servicemembers captured will be rendered null and void should any of the conditions laid out above lead to the determination that recovering you was not the correct procedure.

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malsperanza's avatar

Deep within the Secret Underground Fox Research Lab, scientists are perfecting a new aerosol spray that will identify which American flag lapel-wearers are good guys and which ones actually hate America.

It comes in Clove, Gardenia Bouquet, and New Car Smell.

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BarackMyWorld's avatar

8) If you are captured, is it ok if politicians reverse their position on getting you back if they don't like the administration that gets you back?

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