Defense Secretary Hagel Rams Gay Servicemember Benefits Down National Guard's Throats

Happy Gayvember, everyone! How is the Pentagon defying G_d today? Per Stars and Stripes:  

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel on Thursday sharply criticized U.S. states that are defying the Pentagon by refusing to allow National Guard facilities to issue ID cards that enable same-sex spouses of military members to claim benefits.

"This is wrong," Hagel said in a speech in New York.

Hooray for Nice Time! Let’s see how this is gonna get resolved.

So what is the deal here? After DADT was repealed and the Supreme Court imposed its imperial will upon the federal gubmint, decreeing that it recognize unholy, unnatural, and ungodly same-sex unions, why are we still having issues like this? Well:

Under Pentagon policy that took effect Sept. 3, same-sex spouses of military members are eligible for the same health care, housing and other benefits enjoyed by opposite-sex spouses. That decision followed the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in June on the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act.

However, National Guards fall under state control, although funded partially by the federal government. And some states are being straight-up dickholes, such as former Congresscritter and current horrible-person extraordinaire Mary Fallin:

In Oklahoma, for example, Gov. Mary Fallin ordered her state's National Guard to stop processing requests, making legally married gay couples apply for benefits on federal facilities like Tinker Air Force Base. Oklahoma in 2004 approved a constitutional amendment prohibiting giving benefits of marriage to gay couples.

So instead of following the law and supporting the military men and women who are willing to risk their lives for our freedom and/or cheap oil, Gov. Fallin would rather symbolically “boooo” them, just like spectators at a GOP Presidential debate. Real classy, Mary.

But we get it – states rights and all that. Except we did a little investimigating of our own (looked on some websites), like some sort of real, actual journalists. According to the Oklahoma National Guard Adjutant General’s 2012 Annual Report, in the section labeled Oklahoma National Guard FY 2012 Federal Budget, it appears that the Oklahoma state national guard gets a little help from the Feds… to the tune of more than $486 MILLION DOLLARS. And that was just in 2012. Seriously, after sucking at the teat of the Feds for almost HALF A BILLION DOLLARS, Fallin has the audacity to try to stick it to national guardsmen & women? We must pause for a moment, because our brains have exploded all over and we must collect it.

But there are other states doing to same damn thing:

Hagel did not name the states that are defying Pentagon policy on this issue. But the Pentagon has cited nine: Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Texas and West Virginia.

After a little more investimigating, lookee what we found:

•  Florida Federal Funds for National Guard: $404 million

  Florida State Funds for National Guard: $24.1 million

•  Georgia Federal Funds for National Guard: $552 million

  Georgia State Funds for National Guard: $9 million

•  Indiana Federal Funds for National Guard: $636 million

  Indiana State Funds for National Guard: $13.7 million

Ok, so you get the picture. These states that are trying to deny civil rights to our LGBT friends are TOTALLY HYPOCRITICAL somethin' fierce. They have no problem getting the vast overwhelming amount of their funds from the federal government (our collective tax dollars) and then turning around and being goat-blowing assholes to our fellow citizens.

Hagel said these states' policies are unfair. He said he ordered the chief of the National Guard Bureau, Gen. Frank Grass, to "take immediate action to remedy this situation."

When Hagel made the announcement, it was applauded by LGBT groups. Unfortunately, the good folks at Stars and Stripes had Sarah Palin on their mind with this headline:

Gay rights groups praise Hagel’s stance on ‘rouge’ Guard officials

We don't know how we feel about 'rouge' guard officials, but we say whatever makes you happy, be it rouge, lipstick on a pig, whatevs. However, we certainly don't like these rogue officials, because they are dicks.

So while this should have been handled a while ago, we will be awarding Secretary Hagel our Belated Administrative Badass award, for eventually getting around to doing the right thing.

[ Stars and Stripes / Oklahoma National Guard / Florida Department of Military Affairs / The Florida Times Union / Indiana National Guard / Stars and Stripes ]