Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why So Skimmy, Wonkette?

Oh, gosh, kids, have we got a treat for you! Yesterday, we brought you the braindroppings of a Clinton conspiracy lackwit, Robert Morrow, who wants the world to know about the Clinton's secret shame: Chelsea is not Bill's daughter, but is in fact the biological daughter of Webster "Webb" Hubbell, an idea Morrow has been flogging since at least 2008. Well! Our story did not meet with Mr. Morrow's approval! Yes, we heard from an actual conspiracy guy! He was especially displeased by our acknowledgment that we found him a tad prolix:

"We have to admit we started skimming in there somewhere." - Wonkette Why skim? Does reading about Bill Clintons numerous RAPES & SEXUAL ASSAULTS somehow not interest you that much? Or Hillary covering for a rapist, pervert and serial sexual predator for most of her adult life? Why so "skimmy" ... because that is the critical issue here.

Why so skimmy? Because we do not hate our poor suffering brain enough to read every inept word of your screed, mostly. It was amusing, but only in a TimeCubey kind of way. (And no, we haven't read every word of TimeCube -- for what it's worth, Robert Morrow is more convincing than TimeCube. Just slightly. There's your blurb, man.)

Morrow had some other thoughts as well; this appears to be a reply to another comment, but we're not at all sure what:

It is 100%. Chelsea is the biological daughter of Webb Hubbell and not Bill Clinton and it is a blockbuster story well known to DC insiders. The real issue, however, is Bill Clinton's long history of rape and sexual assault (many more besides his rape of Juanita Broaddrick, 1978) and Hillary's used to terror campaigns and nasty private detectives such as Anthony Pellicano (now in jail) and Jack Palladino (who should be in jail) to cover up all this dysfunction, sexual crime and epic adultery.

The only comment that we saw that mentioned a percentage of any sort was SuspectedDemocrat's "Did you know that 75% of Americans can trace their paternity to Bill Clinton?" But Morrow couldn't be replying to that, could he? Is he saying that Bill Clinton is the Father of his Country?

He also left this cryptic comment, which would appear to suggest that Webb Hubbell and Vince Foster were secretly lesbians:

Hillary in fact was having affairs with BOTH Webb Hubbell (Chelsea) and Vince Foster along with numerous other lesbian affairs.

And the last of his four comments, which for some reason he added two and a half hours after the others:

Woody Allen has a bigger dick than Bill Clinton.

Um. Well, yeah, we are just not going to ask.

Elsewhere in the ol' comments queue, we heard from who we are hoping thinks he's the male Clara Bow but who probably is out there working on your computer. He had some fresh-from-Fox lines to share in reply to our story about that college grad who kinda lied about the plans available to her under Obamacare. Consider this pile of derp:

WHY would anyone want more DEMOCRATS and misery??? More fascist big govt. nanny state control over their lives??? Why would ANYONE support demoncraps after how they crapped all over our WWII vets but cater to illegals and while calling PATRIOTS terrorists while making excuses for real terrorists? WHY??

And we like how he uses conjunctions for hooking up words and phrases and clauses. Seriously, it's poetry. Furthermore, "THE_IT_GUY" happens to know that there is no possibility that any insurance will ever be cheaper under Obamacare than in the private market:

LOWER PRICED?? HAHA NAZIonalized Obamacare = NOTHING but EXTORTING every Tax Payer of EVERY Income Level to stuff the pockets of corporate BIG PHARMA!

See, that one threw us. There's one thing he hates more than socialism...and that's Big Pharma. Is this what you speak of “GARY”!!!!

And finally, from someone who deleted their account immediately after submitting their comment, possibly because they realized that they were replying to a piece on "Joe" "The" "Plumber" and his dumb website from 2008:

Personally I have the utmost respect for Joe. He speaks for those that long for America to be what it once was and not the liberal, Muslim loving, anti Christian country it has become. Obama is selling us out. Listen to his interview in 2008 just prior to his swearing in. Keep it up Joe, I may be only one person but I damned well support you and respect highly your opinions and the fact that you aren't afraid to voice them.

In a fitting tribute to the timeless quality of Mr. the Plumber's message for America, the website we wrote about in that 2008 article, "Secure Our Dream.com" is now 404'd.