Democrat Lady Wins Congressional Seat In New York Backwater

Great news for the Democrats: They are once again winning congressional seats in weird rural areas full of old men in overalls plucking banjos from the comfort of sofas placed on sagging wooden porches. Even better news for the Women's Movement: The Democrat who just won a rural upstate New York State congressional seat is a nice lady who isn't mostly known for selling her invalid mother's pain pills in a church's gravel parking lot. So let's all congratulate Kathy Hochul, who replaces Rep. Chris Lee, the man who spawned a million online jokes by flexing his abs into a bathroom mirror and then sending a pic of this middle-aged flesh display to a lady on Craigslist who then re-gifted it to the Internet.

Congresslady Kathy defeated many typical rural American candidates, including one from the Tea Party and another from the Junior Tea Party (the Republican Party).

Speaking from his new throne in England, King Obama heralded the news: "Kathy and I both believe that we need to create jobs, grow our economy, and reduce the deficit in order to outcompete other nations and win the future." Then he made some other Charlie Sheen jokes and returned to High Tea. [ Reuters ]