Congressman Dennis Kucinich is suing three companies that operate the Longworth House Office Building cafeteria because it served him a sandwich that "contained dangerous substances, namely an olive pit" three years ago. Yes, three years ago, in the thick of the 2008 presidential campaign, when suffered a stunning upset at the hands of Barack Obama. It has taken that long for Kucinich to come to terms with the awful things that sandwich did to him, probably because he needed prolonged therapy to overcome the denial and trauma. This sandwich committed "serious and permanent dental and oral injuries requiring multiple oral and dental surgeries," according to the plaintiff. But those are just physical wounds. Worst of all, Kucinich has suffered a "loss of enjoyment." The day we can no longer enjoy sandwiches is the day we are no longer human.
I had a roommate in college who broke a tooth on one of those mechanical bulls at a bar (the Urban Cowboy era). I wonder if she's weeping in despair at the gold mine she missed out on by being a drunken idiot 30 years too early.
Remember the old joke? "He's a perfectionist. If he were married to Claudia Schiffer, he'd expect her to know how to cook."
There used to be a "presumption of risk" doctrine when it came to restaurant food. If you ordered fish, you were supposed to know fish have bones.
Then in Oakland, California - home to many wonderful things in American life - a chicken burrito was served with a bone in it. The patron took the restaurant to court, won, and a new era began for all of us.
I'm betting this sandwich had eggplant slices, chopped kale, and tofu mayo? Had he opted for something containing pork products he would have been a healthier, and happier, man.
<b>Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.</b>
If you look up &quot;okra,&quot; you may find that it is associated with one of the loveliest adjectives in the English language: mucilaginous.
&quot;Mucilaginous Gumbo&quot; would be a great band name.
I had a roommate in college who broke a tooth on one of those mechanical bulls at a bar (the Urban Cowboy era). I wonder if she&#039;s weeping in despair at the gold mine she missed out on by being a drunken idiot 30 years too early.
Where I work we make English bacon, following the recipes of Maynard Davies.
Remember the old joke? &quot;He&#039;s a perfectionist. If he were married to Claudia Schiffer, he&#039;d expect her to know how to cook.&quot;
Upon further review - it was a chicken enchilada, not a burrito. My apologies!
Not quite as interesting as the recent Northern California &quot;exploding escargot&quot; case, however.
No - I&#039;m not making this stuff up. Why do you ask?
Kucinich once advocated a &quot;Department of Peace&quot;. Good luck with that after rejecting the unborn olive branch in his sandwich.
There used to be a &quot;presumption of risk&quot; doctrine when it came to restaurant food. If you ordered fish, you were supposed to know fish have bones.
Then in Oakland, California - home to many wonderful things in American life - a chicken burrito was served with a bone in it. The patron took the restaurant to court, won, and a new era began for all of us.
It&#039;s a beautiful thing, no?
When sandwiches attack! Oh the horror. But I suppose an olive pit to Kucinich is like a bowling ball to normal humans.
I&#039;m betting this sandwich had eggplant slices, chopped kale, and tofu mayo? Had he opted for something containing pork products he would have been a healthier, and happier, man.
<b>Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.</b>
If you look up &quot;okra,&quot; you may find that it is associated with one of the loveliest adjectives in the English language: mucilaginous.
&quot;Mucilaginous Gumbo&quot; would be a great band name.
No telling what a cherry pit might have done to him, maybe broken his jaw.