24 Comments

God died quite some time ago, but His estate is still locked up in probate.

Expand full comment

Because a guy begging for air is HI-larious! Stupid tree-hugging libs with no since of humor.

Expand full comment

Why not?

Expand full comment

Actually, though, the answer is Hannity. Because, Hannity.

Expand full comment

<i>"If you simply never break any laws ever, and always comply with cops’ lawful orders..."</i>

Your move Cliven Bundy

Expand full comment

<i>"to people in the financial industry, in banking, on Wall Street, they think [Elizabeth Warren] is actually the devil"</i>

Um ... should we actually trust these people with our money?

Expand full comment

"the god of choice is no longer Zeus." Which just shows that the rabbi really doesn't understand how polytheism works. As in, there are LOTS of gods to choose from, depending on who you were, and where you were.

Expand full comment

You beat me to it.

Expand full comment

First off, I live on an island and while that may sound romantic, it's a colossal pain in the ass. Among other things, I have two choices for Internet. One sucks and the other sucks but with an extra helping of suck because the workers are on strike (which I support). The supervisors have taken up the slack for a given value of taken-up and have crashed Vermont.

But, I digress.

My Internet sucks and not just for Wonkette, but for everything else on the 'net. So, in Firefox: Tools-> Add-Ons. Turn Shockwave Flash to "Ask to Activate" (the same option exists for other add-ons as well). Once you do that, all the little screens for video will be gray with a message that says "Activate Adobe Flash". My overall Internet experience has improved, not even up to "good", but at least up to Doesn't Suck So Much.

Please remember, while many of you may be living on a fat pipe, I live in a place (for now) where the stream is less than the trickle from an elderly republican's dick*. This make the difference visiting the site or not visiting the site. But don't worry, Rebecca, I can still see the links for "Odd Trick Destroys Erectile Dysfunction", "Why Big Jugs Ain't Fun", and "New Rule for Cape Elizabeth" I can ignore those the old fashioned way.

*Obligatory dick joke.

Expand full comment

There is a workaround, which I will be quiet about- because revenue (I also tithe monthly so I don't feel too guilty). When are you guys making the switch?

Expand full comment

I hate to correct a rabbi, but the hottest thing in teenage fiction is a series in which a small group of elites lives in unbelievable luxury while the peasantry about them labor, living in poverty, the fruits of their labor having gone to said elites. But let's not talk about that.

PS: I believe this is the most common source for Harry Potter = Occult claims: <a href="http://www.theonion.com/art..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.theonion.com/articles/harry-potter-boo...">http://www.theonion.com/art...

Expand full comment

I'm still waiting for these asshats to explain what law Tamir Rice, John Crawford or Akai Gurley broke. Because none of those people can breathe anymore...

Expand full comment

The Maccabees were rightwing fundamentalist extremists. In that sense, Rabbid Cahn is correct, and so is Rick Perry.

Yeah, celebrating the religious fanaticism of the Maccabee rebellion is the last thing I want to do, ever.

Yay for wassail, nog, presents, huge evergreen fragrant beautifuly decorated cat climbing toys, tips for the building staff who keep my radiator running nicely, cookies with colored sprinkles on, bricks of indigestible fruitcake, wacky wrapping paper, silver bells, well-stocked soup kitchens, snow in the park, stoned santas on the midnight streets, Handel on hold on the phone, unscented candles, and the smell of wet wool.

Greetings of the Season, Wonksters.

Expand full comment

Wait...is that Alex Trebek?

Expand full comment

When will the Duggers start selling their "I can breed" line of clothing?

Expand full comment

As far as Wall Street is concerned, Elizabeth Warren might as well be the devil. They've fattened up with insider trading, vague promises of "beating the market," and the disgustingly-named "wealth management" services for so long that they can't imagine a world in which a kid who goes to the right B-school and gets hired at Goldman Sachs <i>doesn't</i> get rich from a few phone calls and mouse clicks per day.

Warren wants to require your stockbroker, pension fund honcho or 401(k) administrator to put your interests ahead of his own (the "fiduciary standard"). This blasphemy cannot be allowed to exist.

Expand full comment