Welcome, one and all, to another edition of Derp Roundup, where we smoosh up a bunch of stuff that fell to the floor of the Wonket Sekrit Chatcave that was too stoopid to ignore altogether, but that didn’t quite rise to the level of full-length Wonkenpost. This being the traditional feast month of Cocktober, we feel compelled to lead off with this inspiring story of Trace McNutt, the winner of the "Courage Award" from Voice of the Voiceless, that brave band of
<blockquote>Police and a HazMat team were dispatched to the mall when the man threw what witnesses described as an unidentified powder into the LensCrafters store and fled the area. [...] It is not known whether he was muttering anything about all those bright flowering young men who died before their time at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, and at Hill 364.</blockquote> Sorry. I am from that generation, but I don&#039;t recognize the reference. (Not a complaint, just, &quot;What?&quot;) **Confuze**
Ouch! How embarrassing. That could have been fatal!
Also, he jumped onto the fence in a bid to indicate something to the police using indirect references? (&quot;The suspect had apparently tried to hop over the fence in an effort to allude police...&quot;)
Setting a cross on fire inside your house may very well be really, really stupid ... but I think we should encourage it within the inclined-to-cross-burning community.
Extract the weirdos and Florida might depopulate entirely. It&#039;s a weird place, with its own special blend of high-living hillbillies, cynical New England hustlers, defectors and balls-out Republican immigrants fattened on freedom and morcilla, flamboyantly gay rednecks, and rum-soaked laissez-faire Conchs.
That&#039;s what makes it so interesting to read about.
Florida: As I look over my Facebook Friend list I see three distinct groups.
1. Not from Florida 2. From Florida, but left 3. Still in Florida.
The people in groups 1 and 2 are for the most part pretty cool. Even the ones who have beliefs wildly different than mine can discuss things sanely. With few exceptions, the people in group 3 are rich in derp and I keep them around because I got a thank you note from Snopes for the number of times I link to it.
<blockquote>Police and a HazMat team were dispatched to the mall when the man threw what witnesses described as an unidentified powder into the LensCrafters store and fled the area. [...] It is not known whether he was muttering anything about all those bright flowering young men who died before their time at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, and at Hill 364.</blockquote> Sorry. I am from that generation, but I don&#039;t recognize the reference. (Not a complaint, just, &quot;What?&quot;) **Confuze**
Ouch! How embarrassing. That could have been fatal!
Also, he jumped onto the fence in a bid to indicate something to the police using indirect references? (&quot;The suspect had apparently tried to hop over the fence in an effort to allude police...&quot;)
Hillary Clinton.
The reptilian aliens who are masquerading as the British royal family.
Carnac The Magnificent: &quot;What the voters in Kentucky were doing during the shutdown.&quot;
Defund evolution!!!1!!1!
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watc..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u44D3qKKGPU">http://www.youtube.com/watc...
Also, I want Dylan to sue this fucker for trademark infringement.
The thing is, he has no imagination. He just writes down everyday events. Could be a mommyblog.
Shut yo mouf.
This was a Twilight Zone ep, wasn&#039;t it?
Or maybe one of the obscure short stories that infect my hindbrain.
Setting a cross on fire inside your house may very well be really, really stupid ... but I think we should encourage it within the inclined-to-cross-burning community.
The key word is &quot;respectable.&quot;
Extract the weirdos and Florida might depopulate entirely. It&#039;s a weird place, with its own special blend of high-living hillbillies, cynical New England hustlers, defectors and balls-out Republican immigrants fattened on freedom and morcilla, flamboyantly gay rednecks, and rum-soaked laissez-faire Conchs.
That&#039;s what makes it so interesting to read about.
I hear Christmas Island is nice. It even keeps the Christ in Christmas!
Florida: As I look over my Facebook Friend list I see three distinct groups.
1. Not from Florida 2. From Florida, but left 3. Still in Florida.
The people in groups 1 and 2 are for the most part pretty cool. Even the ones who have beliefs wildly different than mine can discuss things sanely. With few exceptions, the people in group 3 are rich in derp and I keep them around because I got a thank you note from Snopes for the number of times I link to it.