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Lefty Mark's avatar

...instead of dodging the Chevys.

Lefty Mark's avatar

Not to mention a well-composed 20-word sentence written out (with correct spelling, except for capitalization) by a toddler. No wonder he has a job. How much does Roger Ailes pay him, anyway?

Zippy W. Pinhead's avatar

There is nothing more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge.

Also too, the Divinyl Ethers did that cool song about masturbation...

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Not like the 47% of toddlers who are just takers!

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Chug carton in 12 seconds, go to emergency room.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

The ethanol, usually, was (untaxed) absolute ethanol, which was dirt cheap even in 5-gallon cans. You could get the whole department thoroughly sloshed for maybe $20. (And more often than not, it was your tax money at work.)

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Yeah, but they read between the lines of the Constitution - the part where it says Xtian white men have the right do what other Xtian white men approve of. (Jeebus thought it was so obvious that he didn't really need to write it down.)

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Doesn't look good for the zombies, what with the lack of brains on the opposing side.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

After the meals we had on Solstice <i>and</i> Xmas, I'm gonna be needing some help from a diety myself.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Explains the nasty infection . . . he was lucky to survive.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

You could do a really wicked Easter display...

Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

Silly Mr. Dixon - Zombie Jesus is at Easter.

diogenez's avatar

A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness severed sleeves Bing, Bing, Bing, Bong, Bong, Bong, Snowness severed sleeves

A fleeting and a greeting scene of effervescent eves Bing, Bing, Bing, Bong, Bong, Bong, Effervescent eves

A greeting and a meeting team of hoarse and frosty words Bing, Bing, Bing, Bong, Bong, Bong, Hoarse and frosty words

A greeting and a cheating team and other noxious herbs Bing, Bing, Bing, Bong, Bong, Bong, Other noxious herbs

A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves A fleeting and a sleeting scene of snowness and of sleeves

Blamethrower is Antifa's avatar

Either everyone in that household is named Todd, or someone needs to read up on the child labour laws in their area...