Wonkette's favorite dictator's daughter, Uzbekistan's Gulnara Karimova, has been laying low since the embarrassment of her failed New York fashion launch and the online kerfuffle about her relationship with Susan G. Komen's Race for the Cure. It looks like fashion gets all messy when you use slaves to pick your cotton, and philanthropy as a self-promotion strategy didn't work out very well for her either. But, if you have lots of dictatory money, you can buy yourself pop stardom or a good facsimile!
<blockquote>Oh, and the lyrics include &quot;You don&#039;t have to fake it.&quot; Um, yeah, I&#039;ll take your word for it, honey... </blockquote>
Oh, so <em>that</em> explains the jawdropping amounts of airbrush in her wrap cover. Wait, what?
Swear to God I thought at first the headline said &quot;DICTATOR&rsquo;S DAUGHTER GULNARA KARIMOVA BUYING HER VA-JAY-JAY&quot;. Perhaps that comes next.
Maybe one of her minions told her that look is sultry.
Looks more to me like the face of a tyrant looking down upon some poor subject - or perhaps a dissatisfactory lover - on his hands and knees, sentencing him to on-the-spot beheading. After which she will smile with satisfaction. And some time after she has lingered with smug satisfaction on the resulting scene of horror, she&#039;ll command other minions to clean up &quot;the mess.&quot;
Take a good look at that face and tell me I&#039;m wrong.
With those looks she wouldn&#039;t even have to win!
I don&#039;t smell any wingtard here, just tard. I thought Gawker handled that! Wingtardz only, please.
<blockquote>Oh, and the lyrics include &quot;You don&#039;t have to fake it.&quot; Um, yeah, I&#039;ll take your word for it, honey... </blockquote>
Oh, so <em>that</em> explains the jawdropping amounts of airbrush in her wrap cover. Wait, what?
No way I&#039;m taking a &quot;good&quot; look at that face. But you&#039;re not wrong.
If you do, you&#039;d better call her the next day. And the next day. And the next day.
Unless you want your gonads wired to a Diehard.
You wouldn&#039;t make it to the palace wall.
Swear to God I thought at first the headline said &quot;DICTATOR&rsquo;S DAUGHTER GULNARA KARIMOVA BUYING HER VA-JAY-JAY&quot;. Perhaps that comes next.
Maybe one of her minions told her that look is sultry.
Looks more to me like the face of a tyrant looking down upon some poor subject - or perhaps a dissatisfactory lover - on his hands and knees, sentencing him to on-the-spot beheading. After which she will smile with satisfaction. And some time after she has lingered with smug satisfaction on the resulting scene of horror, she&#039;ll command other minions to clean up &quot;the mess.&quot;
Take a good look at that face and tell me I&#039;m wrong.
The beatings will continue until Gulnara&#039;s popularity improves.
And seriously, how much fucking airbrush was applied to that picture? That&#039;s just ridiculous.
It&#039;s a trap!
Seriously, if she likes it, she&#039;ll murder your family one by one if you ever try to leave. So make sure she doesn&#039;t like it.