Did Jeb Bush Personally Film Hardcore Porn Flicks As Florida Governor?

Made you look. But here is an interesting thing that is coming back up, now that Jeb Bush is one of the Republicans likely to lose to Hillary Clinton in 2016. Did you know that, while Bush was governor of Florida, his administration used retirees' pension money to invest in ALL THE PORN? It's true, if by "all the porn," you mean Florida's State Board Of Administration invested money in a fund that, among other things, included a company called Movie Gallery, which went bankrupt in 2010, but at one time was one of the biggest movie rental companies in the United States. And wouldn't you know it? Movie Gallery sold some porn, therefore Jeb Bush has COMPLETELY betrayed his social conservative constituents, who have never, ever seen porn in their entire lives, down in the basement, after their wives were in bed:

Bush recently released 280,000 emails from his two terms as governor, and buried in the trove are exchanges about the Movie Gallery investment that highlight the tension between Bush’s stance as a firm social conservative and his readiness to align himself with the Republican Party’s pro-businesses sensibilities -- even at the cost of right-wing ideals.

“Have you people lost your minds?” one outraged voter wrote in an email to Bush and the State Board of Administration (SBA), which made the investment. Another angry voter emailed that pornography was “enslaving men and women to its addiction.”

And there was Gov. Jeb Bush, basically egging those porn addicts on, like "Hey one more double penetration movie film won't hurt anything, you can still make it to work tomorrow!" Bush's administration said that it really couldn't obsess over the details of where each and every dollar in the fund was being invested -- partially because that's not how those sorts of funds work in the first place, morons -- and that getting the highest returns for retirees was most important.

In one of the newly surfaced emails, the SBA’s director told an angry Floridian that the state could not take investment advice from “various constituency groups.” The Bush administration would not let political ideology shape pension decisions, the director explained, saying the state’s pension trustees were “required to act solely in the best interest of the [pension] beneficiaries.”

Yeah, like sex-obsessed wingnuts are going to take THAT for an answer. Back in 2005, the American Family Association, that even-keeled hate group, lost its SHIT over this, firing off an email to its followers titled "Florida Tax Money Invested In Morbid Porn Videos," which sure does sound weird! How were they "morbid?" Was Movie Gallery selling/renting DVDs of people fucking corpses or something? Does this mean that Jeb Bush supported CORPSE-FUCKING as Florida's governor? REAL gross, Jeb, REAL gross.

Or maybe it's just that the American Family Association is a collective of underdeveloped prudes who find the naked human body itself to be "morbid." Well, whatever. The AFA's letter noted that Movie Gallery's stock had lost about 70 percent of its value, and the state DID end up selling its shares the next year, so was AFA victorious? Ha ha, of course not, it is never successful:

The SBA told IBTimes it held the Movie Gallery shares in an internally managed, passive investment fund that used the Russell 3000 stock index as a benchmark. The state ultimately sold its Movie Gallery shares in 2006 after the company was deleted from the index, SBA spokesman Dennis MacKee said.

The International Business Times points out that Rick Perry ALSO invested in the double-anal skull-fucking videos, or whatever they were, and that Rick Santorum took Senate campaign moneys from a company that sold pay-per-view porn, so they are obviously Jesus-hating liberals as well.

Wonkette has found no evidence that the AFA or any of its like-minded goons have fired up the old email machine in outrage over these obvious crimes against Jesus during THIS campaign season, but we wanted them to know about it, just in case they want to.

[ IBTimes.com ]