358 Comments
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Mavenmaven's avatar

I'm guessing the outcome of this news will be... more full Senate attacks on Fauci. Or a revival of the Benghazi hearings?

jltympanum's avatar

During WWII Boeing cranked out 12 B17's (possibly the greatest warplane ever - those things were so tough they could lose their tails and part of their wings and still get home) PER DAY (at peak production). This during a war that was so all-consuming that people had ration cards and were encouraged to save and recycle into the war effort things like cardboard and bits of rubber. Hogshead and Trump have NO EXCUSES.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

He’s not just the president of Hair Club for Monsters, he’s also a member.

Coleman's avatar

The Magats won't learn that Donnie doesn't give a flying fuck about their sons and daughters in the military until they come home complete vegetables or worse

Martha Howell's avatar

Just call it "Hegseth's Good-Looking Corpse Campaign." "We can't protect you against incoming missiles and drones, but our standards will ensure your family sees you clean-shaven in your box."

Why would anyone negotiate with us when we're so busy incapacitating ourselves? Just wait it out.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Which is exactly what Iran did. They have a psychological profile of Orangini, Kegsbreath, Jar-Jar, and Witkoff. They told us this publicly.

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

I'm sure this is all Biden's fault - and probably Obama's, also.

“I voted for Trump because he said he wasn’t going to go to war.” I don't believe you.. I believe you didn't vote for Harris, because she was a woman, AND because the short-fingered vulgarian told you SHE would start wars, and you are a moron, wearing earplugs and blinders so you couldn't see or hear anything about him over the last 5 decades.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

"I really, really wanted the racism, so I'm going to pretend to believe he wouldn't start any wars. Oh, and the misogyny, I wanted misogyny, so I'll also pretend to believe he would he good for the economy."

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I'll only add a woman *and* melanin challenged.

Mavenmaven's avatar

Vladimir Putin’s gotta love it when his boys accidentally do his job for him through their sheer stupidity and incompetence

not accidentally, this is exactly what Putin hired them to do.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

IK,R? And Vlad got them all on the cheap! A few exposé EPSTEIN FILES and *BINGO!*

tehbaddr's avatar

Whiskey Pete is a candy ass pansy!

fawkedifiknow's avatar

I thought Hegseth had made it abundantly clear: He's the Secretary of WAR"! He's the WAR secretary! Not Secretary of DEFENSE. Not the defense secretary! No wonder everything is going to hell in a hand basket over at the Pentagon and in the Middle East1 We can't even keep straight how to show respect to our WAR warriors.

Friend's avatar

This is one fast hand basket!

IMPOed's avatar

Alas... who doesn't love a good clusterfuck first thing in the morning... noon... night

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

That gif at the end makes me feel just a TINY bit bad for Sec Whiskeydick, because nobody looks manly doing that sort of aerobics. But HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH what a fucking dork.

PrimerGray's avatar

Jesus Christ, look at that fancy font on Hegeth's name card in the hed image. How much did that cost and why is it necessary?

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

I noticed it, too. I'd have thunk that real men use Helvetica or something, but this looks like something Trump would micromanage.

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

Jalapeño's are making us sick now.

Jalapeno-linked salmonella outbreak sickens hundreds across 27 U.S. states

​FDA says 36 people hospitalized, but no deaths have been reported *SO FAR* (caps is mine for emphasis)

eppe's avatar

Assuming that the food you buy in the market will not harm you is the epitome of "woke".

Trespassers Will's avatar

That sucks. I do grow my own though. I like to slice them in half lengthwise and put them on a smoker, then dehydrate them, grid ‘em up and put them on stuff.

Lurking for the dick jokes's avatar

So my refusal to eat Jalepenos is finally paying off, I see.

Nacho Librul's avatar

"the blonde liar from the White House with the fillers that look like they were done at Claire’s Boutique in the mall"

Ouch. Wonkette is a tough room.

Pie McKenzie's avatar

Leadership brought to us by the words "dumb, stupid and ignorant" and being to lazy and unwilling to do any research for yourself. I guess, why research if all I need is Fox and Truth Social?

Gammarae's avatar

i remember when the buck used to stop with the guy at the top of the chain. good times, good times.

Rhand Holm's avatar

Nothing that goes wrong, no error too small, is the ever the fault of a narcissist.

eppe's avatar

A chicken in every car, a house in every driveway.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

"The buck stops in my pocket."

Rosy red ASS's avatar

The buck stops in Turnip's pocket. Then it travels to that account in the Caymans.