1908 Comments
User's avatar
Joel Lugo's avatar

Piercinald Anastasia "Pierce" Hawthorne is believed to have had sex with Ms. Kitt in an airport bathroom.

Steven McCrary's avatar

2026 to be rough sailing for Republicans…Merry Christmas to me!

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Donald Chump said that Governor Jeff Landry of Louisiana called him up and volunteered to become an envoy to Greenland in the hopes of making them the 51st state.

If he volunteered, that means he doesn't get paid. If he doesn't get paid, it's not a job.

If he takes the envoy gig, he'll have to resign as Governor.

That means he'll be unemployed in Greenland.

muggle's avatar

Anybody want a peanut?

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

I lived in Indiana for a time. Some Hoosiers are really weird, man. Maybe it's something in the water.

And they love to put concrete geese on their porches and dress them up for various holidays.

catsntrees's avatar

LMAO!! That's also in KY and I know a few in Illinois that do this too...it's a southern thing but my god when my neighbors did it I laughed until I cried.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Oh, the memories they will have.

verne's avatar

i hope you mean the geese's memories

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Right up there with the family Xmas photo posing with the ARs and Glocks. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

I'm sure when some of them die they have their boomtoys buried with them.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

I had a sad for Christmas.... bullets were handed from one to another.... my uncle had a friend who died and my uncle got his firearms.... gave my dad the smaller semi-auto and kept the .45 caliber for himself. I don't worry about Dad, he was a state trooper back in the very early '70s, but just the idea of guns everywhere....

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Heirloom death machines. It is indeed sad.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Lamb roast slow-cooked in red wine.

Vermicious Kid, RN's avatar

Grilled cheese and tomato soup

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Ms. O can't eat tomatoes. Can she just get grilled cheese soup?

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

*checks gas for the snow blower* *lays in supplies* *laughs at all the crazies who will be panicking tomorrow*

𝟷𝟷𝟿 𝙿𝙼 𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝚃𝚑𝚞 𝙳𝚎𝚌 𝟸𝟻 𝟸0𝟸𝟻

...𝚆𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚁𝙼 𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝙴𝙵𝙵𝙴𝙲𝚃 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝟺 𝙿𝙼 𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝟷 𝙿𝙼 𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝚂𝙰𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙳𝙰𝚈...

* 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃...𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚢 𝚜𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍. 𝚃𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝟺 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝟾 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜.

* 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴...𝙿𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚝, 𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝙹𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝚈𝚘𝚛𝚔.

Russell Jones's avatar

When a snowstorm is forecast around here, terlet paper flies off the store shelves at a truly alarming rate.

I can only conclude that high percentage of the people with whom I share this here town just start shitting uncontrollably when it snows. :D

Zyxomma's avatar

We're getting it starting around 1 p.m. tomorrow. All we need is water, from our neighbor who has a spring, and gas for the tractor. We even know where the lanterns are in case the power goes out.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Already planning on making my supply runs early tomorrow.

Beer distributor, cuz a 12 pack takes care of 3 nights.

Vape store. Dollar General.

OK, I'm gettin tired already just thinking about it.

Goin Green's avatar

We might not reach 80° tomorrow...

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

We might touch 50F, which is above normal but within the range. Not complaining.

Goin Green's avatar

We're going to hit 85° tomorrow and then not get out of the 40s for the next two days after that. Texas weather is the only thing I actually like about Texas though.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

The good news is my mom's feeling well enough to eat some rice, lentils, and veggies finally, after the hydrocodone withdrawal symptoms decided to hit her today.

When we Face timed my brother and BIL I told my mom to open all the presents they sent us. There were no tags, which in the past meant they were group presents. Turns out they forgot to put gift tags on the presents so my gifts became our/my mom's gifts. One would probably have stayed out for us both to enjoy but she really loved the other one. He got me a real cool statue of a beloved character and a small stuffie of a life long beloved kids character that was this year's entry in a series that he's gotten for me every year. I appreciate the thought, just feel sad they are not mine. It was an accident, I know, but from 53 years experience in cancelled birthdays and holidays I know Christmas will be put off for a few weeks until I quietly work my presents from my mom (I buy my presents for me from my mom and she usually mostly pays me back and I store them until the day) into my wardrobe and I will give her her presents slowly when she needs a pick me up or a distraction. I am pissed at myself for feeling sad because everything that crashed yet another Christmas firmly into a brick wall was no one's fault and I was not expecting much at all, especially at my age, but I'm just getting tired of hoping for something slightly nice to happen and then it doesn't in a completely understandable but still disappointing way.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Rice and lentils has me thinking of Mujaddara - Mujaddara https://www.tasteatlas.com/mujaddara-palestine

Glad to hear mom is making some progress.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

Thanks!! I'm still calling her doctor tomorrow ( I'm HIPPA approved) to see what else we can do to help her through the symptoms, but I'm optimistic I can go to work tomorrow and monitor her by phone and retired nurse neighbor.

Zyxomma's avatar

DO ask her doc about Suboxone for withdrawal.

Up Here in the Clouds's avatar

I will! I've already packed a note with the name written down so I won't forget.

ziggywiggy's avatar

SO IT IS NOW (officially) CHRISTMAS!

Hans Gruber has fallen from Nakatomi Plaza.

The movie is over please join us there for your Christmas OT.

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

*raises snickerdoodle*

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

I think I need to apologize to EyeQueue first. See you in a minute.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

So this bit from PABbles' rant this evening

"I have previously warned these Terrorists that if they did not stop the slaughtering of Christians, there would be hell to pay, and tonight, there was."

What about the Christians at home dying because they can't afford health insurance? There are far more of those than ISIS killed. Can we expect a lethal kinetic strike on the architects of that?

It's a wider-scale slaughter than you're whining about, you orange custard-brained buffoon.

LyftControlledCities's avatar

What? Jeebus isn't healing American Xtiains so they don't NEED health insurance?

It's almost like He doesn't actually do anything, but hogs all the credit anyway...

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

https://clip.cafe/rosemarys-baby-1968/come-with-us-quietly-rosemary/

Come with us quietly Rosemary, don't argue with us or make a scene or we will be forced to take you to a mental hospital

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

Awww!

<-- Found someone else who thinks about Mommy Dearest this time of year.

Sorry about that, but we're doing ok, right?

Craig Nixon's avatar

Looked for it streaming, for ages.

Finally found it on the awful Paramount (a freebie from WalMart)...and it doesn't work.

ETA: Yes, Prime has it. I'm just poor.

EyeQueue's avatar

My relish and charcuterie trays. The eggplant was super delicious and it's so easy to make!

https://substack.com/@thesourgrrl/note/c-191707718

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Did I see cornichons with onions?

EyeQueue's avatar

Yes. My partner likes those. :)

Zyxomma's avatar

A thing of beauty!

EyeQueue's avatar

Thank you so much! The eggplant was delicious. If you like it I highly recommend the preparation. You just cut them in half, score them, brush with olive oil, roast at like 500 until golden, drizzle with balsamic vinegar, top with some crumbled feta, and put back in for a couple minutes. It was *so good*!

helenasgarden's avatar

Not enough eggplant. That would be mine, all mine. Yum to all of this. My kinda chow. Deelish.

EyeQueue's avatar

It was super good. I'd never had anything like that before.

helenasgarden's avatar

Wrote down the recipe now. Thanks! That is dead easy. Must try.

Btw, what size eggplant? What type? Does it matter?

EyeQueue's avatar

I don't think it matters? These ranged a bit in size from under what they typically sell in the store to quite small (like large apple sized). I will ask my partner what variety they were. He grew them in the garden. XD That probably doesn't matter much, either, though.

JanuaryClaire's avatar

Nice! Everything looks yummy!

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

I thought all the food looked yummy but the overall effect is a bit like Dr Oz got a surprise anal intrusion whilst he was holding crudités in an exploding hobby lobby.

Craig Nixon's avatar

I saw that happen once.

Oh, wait. That was just the acid.

Nevermind.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Really it's because I'm colorblind and it's a bit of a blur of shapes and colors.

Zyxomma's avatar

Red-green colorblind? It's hard to believe someone so good at photography is any kind of colorblind. Now I'm even more impressed with the quality of your photos.

Oliver Furman's PA's avatar

I would fight somebody for those stuffed poblanos!

EyeQueue's avatar

They were really good! They're a bit spicy but the cheese mixture really tones it down.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

I like to cook with poblanos, subbed for green bell pepper whenever.

EyeQueue's avatar

They're one of my favorite peppers and these (and the eggplant) were some of the last things to come out of our garden. I still have a couple of jalapenos and banana peppers hanging on, but that was it for the poblanos.

I'm going to try to overwinter the plants and see what happens.

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

I'm in Zone 5b. Overwintering pepper plants is something that would be considered quite a trick here.

Craig Nixon's avatar

I would have attacked all of that, and then been napping next to the dog.

EyeQueue's avatar

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Dec 26
Comment deleted
EyeQueue's avatar

I think it was the best eggplant I've ever had. And see my comment above. It was so easy.

paul's avatar

FOTUS- "Love" means never being told "no."

Parakeetist's avatar

O hai, we bombed Nigeria today.

Going after the terrorists who bombed Christians.

Another Crusades have broken out.

Nobody asked for this.

Sorry to tell you this.

U.S. launches strikes on ISIS targets in Nigeria, Trump says - CBS News https://share.google/wv9vZHYp9cTXiH70Z

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

You gonna believe CBS News?

Psyker01's avatar

Figures we cant even get Christmas off from these people...

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Couldn’t even wait until *after* f’ing Xmas, which indicates they were intentionally going for maximum outrage.

Yep, Oslo should be calling any time now, you bet.

UVB-76's avatar

Waiting for the electrician or someone like him. Under a million copies of Naked Lunch, courtesy Dr. Benway.

Mr. Knows Nothing, et. al.'s avatar

Nigeria did not consent to this.

GrandParadeOfLifelessPackaging's avatar

orange taint: They just let you do it.

chascates's avatar

ISIS attack on non-Christians:

"MAIDUGURI, NIGERIA, Dec 25 (Reuters) - At least 5 worshippers were killed and 35 others injured when a suspected suicide bomber detonated an explosive inside a mosque in Maiduguri, the capital of Nigeria's Borno state, during evening prayers, police said.

No group has claimed responsibility for Wednesday's attack, which comes amid heightened security concerns in Nigeria’s northeast, where Islamist insurgents Boko Haram and its ISWAP faction have waged a 15-year campaign of violence targeting civilians, mosques, and markets.

Last August, gunmen attacked a mosque and nearby homes in northwest Katsina State killing at least 50, according to local officials and residents."

https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/five-killed-nigeria-mosque-attack-police-say-2025-12-25/

Oliver Furman's PA's avatar

Just great. More slaughter in the name of religion. Same as it ever was.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Boko Haram really went downhill after "A Whiter Shade of Pale"

Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

"Western education is forbidden" and other b-sides.

Craig Nixon's avatar

It's OK. I didn't need that mouthful of beer.

Oh, send me a new laptop at your convenience. :)

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

That's the only song I can remember from them anyway

AIB's avatar

Conquistador?

Zyxomma's avatar

What about A Salty Dog?

Oliver Furman's PA's avatar

Don't mind if I do, thank you.