Disturbing Stuff You Can't Ignore Anymore In Grease! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 31, 2023

Tell me more. Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Please join us at our house in Detroit this Labor Day Monday, 2 to 6 p.m., for grilling and drinking and good times! Bring a kid if you got one and a bathing suit if you want to splash around in the tiny above ground pool and something to share only if you love bringing things to share! Email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com for our address. We love you!

My house is also worth $2.2 billion more than whatever it is actually worth ($1 billion), shut up yes it is. (Gift link New York Times)

Mitch McConnell — and I say this with all the kindness in my liberal do-gooding heart — had a thingie again, and looked like a man gazing into the pit of hell. (I’m glad his aide was more immediate this time, taking charge at his side, instead of the senators who sat there with their thumbs up their asses last time.) Despite his being the architect of the stolen Supreme Court, I have some fondness for him simply for being the last non-lunatic Republican and hating Donald Trump. Comment rules (no glee in others’ pain, please) in effect. (AP)

Vivek Ramaswamy knows who is the “modern KKK,” it is Rep. Ayanna Pressley. So I think we know who could use $20 to make her feel better, if you’re holding. (Ayanna Pressley is my favorite Squadder, which means she’s probably yours too, because you always agree with me on everything, as is right and proper.) — Politico

Texas Department of Public Safety Director Steven McCraw, whom you’ll remember from the response to the response to the Uvalde child massacre, has this to say about the 133 migrants who have been injured in the past two months by the razor wire Texas Gov. Greg Abbott ordered installed in the Rio Grande:

“The purpose of the wire is to deter smuggling between the ports of entry and not to injure migrants,” McCraw wrote in an email at the time. “The smugglers care not if the migrants are injured, but we do, and we must take all necessary measures to mitigate the risk to them including injuries from trying to cross over the concertina wire, drownings and dehydration.” 

Yes, mmhmmm, yes. — Houston Chronicle

Well who knew? Americans do not in fact love it when you punch trans children in the face! Instead, when people were asked what they want in kids’ education, the top three responses were “safety from gun violence, education quality, and providing mental healthcare in school.” See Erin in the Morning for more on the supermajority backlash to the shit these red state legislatures are pulling on the fucking children.

For any of you who know the saga of Donna Rose and Tallulah’s really shitty first year in Detroit schools last year (it’s a long un!), you’ll be delighted to know that at their new (yes, public, of course) school they got art AND recess AND gym all on the first day! (They were never allowed to have recess all year because the children were too hyper at lunch … … … … yeah.) And books! In the classroom! As opposed to having to sit silently all day (Lu was in kindergarten) learning on their machines. Well, looks like Houston’s new Greg Abbott-bestowed superintendent is a fucking lunatic who thinks children will learn sitting silently at their desks while their teachers intone whatever powerpoint lesson has come in from central. Houston, I am so, so sorry. I wish you all the best. (Houston Chronicle)

Oh shoot, we missed Wonkette BFF Larry Klayman “sentencing” Joe Biden yestertoday in Boise, where all the extra-EXTRA-judicial trials take place. Guess I’ll have to have Dok look into whether they sentenced Old Joe to death or just the stocks. (Politizoom)

Sacha Baron Cohen at the March on Washington. Watch past the mankini clunker (you could tell he was nervous, poor dear) for a really lovely speech.

A swell (as usual!) interview from our new pal Max at Big Sky Chat House (he’s really good! he also came to join us at our Missoula party!) with former Montana Gov. Brian Schweizer. (You know what I appreciate most about Big Sky Chat House? IT IS IN TEXT FORM, NOT PODCAST.) Ignore the clickbait about the elitist Dems, that’s like one sentence of it, and it’s not wrong. Dang, Schweizer’s good at talking. Also, it always amazes me how Republicans’ ONE THING — loving tax cuts, hating taxes — always seems to be No Longer Operative once they’ve got a working class person they can load all their costs onto. Schweizer goes deep on Montana’s 20 percent property tax increase and desire to finally instate a sales tax because fuck it, Donny, these men are nihilists.

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Speaking of which, your comrade Ms. Nikki sent me this picture of ME with Wonker Gwen and LBJ (and probably Mike Mansfield I assume) in Montana at the Union Hall. We look awesome. JFK’s into it.

Michael Hiltzik has some words for the Home Depot CEO jawing about smash-and-grabs when his company settled a wage-theft lawsuit for $72 million. — LA Times

Disturbing stuff I can’t ignore anymore in Grease? Why, is it 16 Candles? (Looper)

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