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Zucchini! You might have some. Here are some ideas for cooking them: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/zucchini-your-summer-bounty-bestie

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

I have been taking full advantage of the zucchini blossoms at the local farmers market. I live on those things in summer like vampires live on blood during the dark hours.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Also! Visiting friend from the Aveyron in France taught us to make pesto from pretty much anything green, and one of the standouts was a pesto made with the shaved green skins of zucchini.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

It's still amazing that one day it's 2" long and the next it's a baseball bat.

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That's what she said.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

These recipes are provided as a public service so you can stop breaking into cars on the street or sneaking onto people’s porches and doorways just to leave them bags of your superfluous squash.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Please don't squash me!!!

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

I prefer zucchini over yellow squash, which tend to be too mushy for me.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

Or, if you have a pupper who's a bit...rotund... you can mix shredded zucchini into their regular food to add bulk without adding calories. We took 10 pounds off a chubby rescue this way and got him to a nice healthy weight :)

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No zukes, man.

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Danny Zuke lettered in track greasing. The uniform is a leather thong.

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I know you clean up after pupper. Otherwise, the seeds in pupper's poops will sprout all over the neighborhood.

Well, it happens with watermelons, anyway.

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I didn't even think about that! I guess if we have any zucchini or corn (he ADORES unpopped popcorn kernels) growing near where he likes to go we'll know why!

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Keep the popcorn plants. They are reputedly valuable.

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But then how do you keep the pupper out the garden, helping themselves to your zucchini? My two big dogs wiped out the measly tomatoes that were coming in, brats!

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Past dog used to pluck our tomatoes, then grab a cucumber & guard it like a bone.

He & late Mom’s cat, who we inherited, would sit in rapt harmony and watch me slice a cantaloupe, waiting for their handouts 😼🐶

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Ah, well it helps that we rent and don't have a garden :) He does love to sit at my feet while I'm chopping veggies still because he's hoping he'll get the zucchini stem bits I used to toss to him :)

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author

Ooh, grand idea!

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Now, I need to drive to the farmer's market and get some squash.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf, Martini Glambassador

Or visit someone that planted some. While you're distracted by their animals, children or spouse they'll fill your car with squash.

No backsies.

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we also stash them in strangers' mailboxes

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They do this kind or thing in the small town I’m considering retiring in; every year a wonderful family provides watermelon slices to all comers. If there are leftover melons though, they get put in unlocked cars. The rinds go to the matriarch’s herd of snapping turtles.

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Squash! Someone sat on dinner!

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We get a summer full of zucchini and tomatoes, and dry beans in the fall from my in laws. Yum!

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So, they do that to you, also too, yes?

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Don't be silly.

I lock my car.

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"Thanks for visiting. Here's your coat!"

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They didn't smash your window with a butternut squash?

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Of course not.

They aren't ready to be picked yet.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

The best ones are the ones with snark carved into them. Sass-squash.

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deletedAug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador
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Ahem.

Jeremiah Johnson.

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BTW, what the hell is that in your avatar? It kinda looks like Audrey from Little Shop of horrors but it kinda don't.

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I never heard about the girls' school last year. I want to hear what happened. And why this year it's all good.

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author

I'm in Albany waiting for my next train that takes me to Pittsfield. Outside vaping some Indica, nice way to travel.

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Oh hey, one of the local rags wrote a useful changing bodies guides for the modern teenager that can be taught in all 50 states, even Florida!

https://www.northcoastjournal.com/humboldt/faq-about-your-changing-body/Content?oid=27536721

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Dark. But fair.

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As much as I despise McConnell, I don't like seeing people struggle publicly* like that. I hope he's getting help behind the scenes.

*to clarify, I don't like seeing people suffer in private either. I just think the spectacle isn't helpful.

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I realize that Republicans = no soul and politics = deal with Satan etc., but for the love of little green apples how can someone of such advanced age with such health issues not want to just go home and REST? He has all the money, power, if he wanted to go home people would still come kiss his ass since he knows firsthand where he buried all the bodies and how to use them to squeeze donors for every last goddamn dime. JUST LIE DOWN NOW MITCH, AND DROP OFF FEINSTEIN ON THE WAY MY DUDE.

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I was creeped out when he fell that time and crawled toward his wife up on a podium and she gazed down on him with a blank face the entire time. Not even blank but as if he really was a bug. It seemed to me to last an hour. She's super-super-gracious all the time so it was more awful.

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Your mileage varies.

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Aug 31, 2023Liked by Martini Glambassador

I made zucchini boats out of friend-donated squash last night for dinner, they were stuffed with black beans, corn, salsa, spices and topped with cheese. They were mmm, happily I have more squash just waiting to be boated.

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‘trix evoked glorious memories of Baltimore P.S. #88 in the ‘50s. We had two spaces outside.

Asphalt had playground (swings, seesaws, monkey bars), a painted circle for Dodge and space for jump rope and such. Grass- or dirt, depending on weather - had bases for softball, kickball, etc. If anyone got hurt, there was a f/t school nurse. Tech involved wheeling a b&w tv into classrooms for local programming (Let’s Speak French, Let’s Read Books - on which I once appeared) and major news events, like Alan Shepard’s space flight and, IIRC, the execution of Caryl Chessman. Boomers crowded the place to the point where I spent 5th & 6th grade in the portable classroom, under the tutelage of the magnificent John Maitland, a former schoolmate of my Mom’s and perhaps my best teacher ever. Breaks my heart to read of kids these days enduring teach-to-the-test, active shooter drills and libraries being converted to detention centers.

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Don't forget "Hemo, the Magnificent."

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7th grade biology.

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Watching McConnell I thought, "how embarrassing to be in that situation." Doesn't make me like him at all, though

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Mitch really needs to retire now to his Kentucky plantation and enjoy life with his children and grand-children. He has nothing else to accomplish in DC and the Democratic governor will appoint some MAGA to the seat.

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I think there will be metaphorical blood spilled if Moscow Mitch dies in office. That notion the Republican Party can choose his successor is unconstitutional, since no one elects party members, and the Governor will not roll over.

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So I was reading today's per curium affirmed cases in our local Florida appeals court and noticed the name Larry Klayman and then realized it was his case where he sued Wonkette. Well, the dismissal of his case was affirmed on appeal, so yay.

https://4dca.flcourts.gov/content/download/876708/opinion/222114_DC05_08312023_100536_i.pdf

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Aug 31, 2023·edited Aug 31, 2023

I hate Grease. I hate the music. I hate the plot. I hate the message at the end that the solution your problems is to remake your persona to conform to other people’s expectations.

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author

Sitting on the train and ready to go. It's a full train but I knew where to stand to be near the front of the line when they started loading. So I got a good seat, at the end of the car so there's no one around me.

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founding

Remember when Moscow Mitch gleefully claimed the title of "The Grim Reaper"? Maybe, on second thought, that was not as clever as you thought it was.

Feeling a little chill, like bony fingers reaching for you? HaHaHaHaHaHa!

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So, about that Erin in the Morning post:

It's cool and all, but frankly the only poll of public opinion that matters is the one at the ballot-box, and what these people say to pollsters doesn't mean shit if they keep electing Republicans. The *charitable* explanation for why they do that is that they're stupid (somehow, after 50 years of Republicans trying to destroy public education, they still don't realize that's what they'll do once in power?), since the only alternative is that they're malevolent (ie, they *do* know that's what Republicans do once they're in power, and that's what they want to happen.

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from the Houston ISd story

“Discipline and order and high-quality instruction....

Animals will be bred and SSSSSSLaughtered

and 10 women to every man. The women will need to be

highly stimulating..."

Dr. Strangelove

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And I thought Jan and Dean were overly optimistic with "2 girls for every boy"!

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from the Houston ISd story

“Discipline and order and high-quality instruction....

Animals will be bred and SSSSSSLaughtered

and 10 women to every man. The women will need to be

highly stimulating..."

Dr. Strangelove

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Golden rule has been my default, 45 years of public service it served me well, if treating others the way I'd want to be treated didn't work then phase two was "kill 'em with kindness", I wish Mitch McConnell well.

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I hope he gets exactly what he deserves. That's the kindest thing I can say.

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Bless his heart.

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