249 Comments
User's avatar
Ruhe's avatar

"The full DOGE story has yet to be told..."

Cleaning up this mess of corruption will be THE growth industry of the 2030's.

Uncle Betamax's avatar

Cleaning it up will be a lot simpler if you ignore all the liars and bunko artists who will inevitably be calling for "closure" and "healing".

What they mean is they want you to forget their past crimes an atrocities so they can move on to all new crimes and atrocities.

CzechJournalists's avatar

read in News of the Weird:

* Professor Constance Penley of the University of California, Santa Barbara,

interviewed by the Chicago Tribune in August on the significance of "Beavis

and Butthead," said it is about "the arrogance of white male privilege."

"[T]he only people who get to be that stupid and live are white guys."

[Chicago Tribune magazine, 8-14-94]

VwllssWndr's avatar

Yeah, like... it's pretty cool. Thank you drive through.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

They betrayed us all by sending our sensitive PII to Russia. But at least they didn't send Russia (and therefore Iran) the location of our military formations in the middle east. At least they stopped short of doing that.

Or did they? After all, Their bro, Big Balls, had no problem with staging a hoax beating that justified an invasion of Washington DC by DHS Gestapo.

Caepan's avatar

Remember last year when the spoiled rotten kids of Indonesia's ruling elites made videos bragging about their material wealth? It kickstarted a political upheval.

Maryland Bear's avatar

If she had actually wanted a little sympathy, she could have done "What it's like to be 18 and have the Secret Service with you constantly". (See also Zoe Bartlet in The West Wing, though she was a good kid who just picked a bad boyfriend once.)

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The ability to increase the rate of entropy and decay within a localized area around her has to be this vacant airhead's super power. I cannot see from the link if she has the ability to switch this superpower on and off at will or if it is one of those superpowers that is always radiating off her at all times and all places.

If it is the latter I would encourage her to visit grandpa as often as possible. I am sure he would love seeing her.

OG Blockhead's avatar

I was promised robot overlords but I got these clowns instead? Fuck it.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The Specter henchmen that James Bond is always tangling ass with always come off as really competent and just as dangerous as James Bond. (Well, except for the hobbling woman with the knife hidden in the toe of her shoe, she sucked.) Anyway if I had a license to kill I think I know two people I might want to visit. (They both seem like the kind of people who have knives in the toes of their shoes and I just know I could take them out.)

Ruhe's avatar

In their infinite digital wisdom, the Robot Overlords are letting us do all the killing so that they may then sort it all out in peace.

Tappin Lisa's avatar

I hope the Modern Language Association YouTube channel gets tons of traffic from people who will sift through Fox's 7 hours and Cavanaugh's 5 hours for the cringiest clips!

DrBDH's avatar

It’s funny, I can define fascist, Nazi, racist, misogynist, xenophobe, grifter, rapist and many other words I use in deploring the assholes who can’t define DEI, woke and Critical Race Theory, the things they think are as bad.

Colbert Thorenson's avatar

Somewhere in his black little heart he knows its bad to say his understanding of DEI out loud. That's worth something I guess.

VwllssWndr's avatar

He's a young person. He's worried about being ostracized. Social consequences work.

Sherry's avatar

That people thought Musk was some visionary has always bemused and confused and angered me. Even before all of this we knew that him getting the DOGE role was a conflict of interest from jump street. Remember that this man took over Xitter and celebrated by bringing in a kitchen sink. I mean come the fuck on! WTAF was that all about? And this guy thinks he's going to Mars. He could not be more wrong.

Fender Deluxe's avatar

I have no problem with sending Musk to Mars.

ciaobella's avatar

Come on, let him go to Mars

Daniel's avatar
2hEdited

"And robots don’t do well trying to properly interpret pages of couched racist euphemisms."

Otherwise known as J.D Vance erotica

Donald Laporte's avatar

Dear Raymor and Flanagan I never thought.................

Rooster Cogburn's avatar

Idiocracy, we are here

EyeQueue's avatar

We are worse. They at least knew they were dumb and were trying to fix it.

This country is proudly dumb.

Fender Deluxe's avatar

Indeed! I’ll take President Camacho over Trump (or any Republican) every day of the week.

VwllssWndr's avatar

True wisdom is knowing when you don't know and accepting that someone else might. Camacho had that.

Trump believes he's a genius who knows more than anyone else.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

And ju$t why doe$ tweelon get a pa$$? Deport that trea$onous bitch.

Darrell Leland's avatar

I always assumed the country would be destroyed from within by some massive all powerful cabal of elite eggheads worshipping Moozlebeck, or something like that. It never occurred to me we'd be destroyed by a bunch of incompetent dumbfuck gamer bros who viewed cutting the budget like a boss level in a shoot em up.

VwllssWndr's avatar

Don't forget the racism, misogyny, and those godawful broccoli haircuts.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Ugh. Look at those little tools, *slap, bop, biff, pow* and that’s being polite.

EyeQueue's avatar

Punchable as fuck faces.

My Erdos Number Is Five's avatar

Wow. When was Nate arrested for spiking the sorority girl’s drink?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

John Oliver did an excellent job detailing the hit job the DOGE Incels did on USAID. The only misstep was that he didn’t mention Muskrat’s interest in Starlink being at least part of the motivation.

https://youtu.be/tU8S13xYJNM?si=4_0yqs-SYYbe-Fqi