640 Comments
User's avatar
My Erdos Number Is Five's avatar

If they didn’t do this they might have a girlfriend who would help them.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

The ladies in the second wave of feminism made a few bloody good points.

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

This would never happen at 5 Below.

Mr Beeep's avatar

Is purse candy anything like trouser taffy?

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

“What evils am I contributing to if I buy purse candy here, the only brick-and-mortar store where they sell a lot of the purse candy I like?”

YES!! Why can I only find Charm Pop bites at the Dollar store. For those that don’t know what this miracle candy is, it’s basically a mini charm pop with out the stick.

LoCoJo's avatar

It's times like these I wish I actually could choose to be gay, because goddamn.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Look. The mediocre white man is too oppressed. Shutup.

Suki Wessling's avatar

I am deeply grateful that you are covering this. However, I can't continue this comment because I need to go pour bleach on my leggings! 🤮

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Make a quick hot dog because fuck all of this.

Cheese's avatar

What on earth is purse candy? Is it candy you can keep stuff in, is it candy shaped like little purses, or is it accessories for purses of the non-edible variety (as in “arm candy”) whatever it is - it has not crossed the pond.

My Erdos Number Is Five's avatar

Nan always had mints. Probably to shut the kids up.

Robyn Pennacchia's avatar

Individually wrapped hard candies that you keep in your purse like a grandma, duh. Top varietals include: Cremesavers, Butter Rum Lifesavers, those strawberry ones in the strawberry wrappers, the mint ones with chocolate on the inside (the actual best) and the rootbeer ones they have at World Market.

Mock me if you want, but you'll thank me or someone like me when you're coughing in Marshalls.

Sister Artemis's avatar

I don't know but if it's candy at the bottom of my purse, it probably has lint stuck to it.

Cheese's avatar

I’d probably go for it anyway, unless it was entwined with the one enormous tampon.

Demodocus's avatar

I thought it was the kind of candy stereotypically found in a grandmother's purse, butterscotch or whatever

Robyn Pennacchia's avatar

This is correct!

Cheese's avatar

Aha! I think I was offered a purse sweet (a mint) by a very kind lady who I did not know who noticed me coughing in the Times Square Easy Everything Internet cafe, many years ago. Odd how niceness sticks with you through the years.

In the U.K. we call them Church sweets. UK churches are notoriously freezing so these have been used by grandmas to stop coughing during the sermon since forever.

See also chapel sweets for families less sinful that mine, or Opera sweets for the artistically cultivated.

Robyn Pennacchia's avatar

I actually did not see this before I wrote the comment about coughing in Marshalls (if you're in the UK, that's TK Maxx).

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

My mom always had spearmint Life Savers. All her purses smelled wintry fresh!

Marc's avatar

Yes my friends, the UK equivalent to Dollar Tree is indeed 'Pound Town'. I go there very often.

Pexas Teat's avatar

I need to find the photo I took in London in the late 1990s of the Hand Job Car Wash.

Anarchy Pony's avatar

You don't need to brag...

marxalot's avatar

lap full of hot coffee, instantly

Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

I would ask if its bad that I'm disappointed that barista didn't respond to hot shit guy by oopsey accidentally dumping his order of triple-caf espresso right in his lap. But in these circumstances? Nah. I ain't worried.

Myra Donnelley's avatar

Damn. I was hoping the barrista "accidentally" spilled a vente hot latte on the dude's lap and filmed the whole thing. With votes.

Mary Hall's avatar

Dafuq is wrong with men and their dicks? I am so GD sick of reading about these jerkholes causing trouble with their little heads. Fking evolve or go extinct!

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

AFAIK in MA you need a license for pepper spray. I’m not sure if that’s true for those banana stun guns they advertise on repeat late at night on the channel I watch with the blorbos from my crime shows. Byrna Banana.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ldMqXUReHVo