When we reach the end of humanity, and the last remnants of our species roam our burnt cinder of a planet, dragging their malformed limbs across the wastelands, their sightless and milky eyes staring out of a grotesque carnival mask of ruin, perhaps they will take comfort and even be able to laugh at one of the great mysteries of time echoing across the eons: How the hell did Donald Trump keep stepping on his own dick over and over and over?
Trump stepped on that tiny little mushroom dick of his for about the millionth time this weekend with regard to veterans, a subject on which he has stepped on said mushroom dick many times over the years. Remember “I like soldiers who don’t get captured” with regard to John McCain? Or the insensitivity towards the grieving widow of a soldier killed overseas? Or his telling the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to keep wounded vets away from major events because nobody wants to look at them, with “nobody” actually meaning “Donald Trump”?
Last Thursday, Trump was speaking at an event on antisemitism being held at his golf club in New Jersey. In attendance was Miriam Adelson, major GOP donor and widow of Sheldon. Back when he was president, Trump had awarded Miriam Adelson a Medal of Freedom, allegedly for her work fighting substance abuse but really as a reward for giving him lots of money, which besides physical beauty is the yardstick by which Trump measures a person’s humanity.
So Trump, trying to say nice things about Miriam Adelson last week, reminisced about giving her the Medal of Freedom by saying this:
“I watched Sheldon sitting so proud in the White House when we gave Miriam the Presidential Medal of Freedom. That's the highest award you can get as a civilian, it's the equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor but civilian version. It's actually much better because everyone [that] gets the Congressional Medal of Honor that soldiers, they're either in very bad shape because they've been hit so many times by bullets or they're dead. She gets it and she's a healthy, beautiful woman. And they're rated equal but she got the Presidential Medal of Freedom.”
We get it, Miriam Adelson was all nicely dressed for her medal ceremony at the White House and hadn’t even lost an eye or a limb or sustained brain damage in combat, and therefore did not remind Donald Trump of the inevitable physical decay and mortality that comes for us all, whether we are badly injured fighting in a misbegotten war at the age of 20 or growing old eating McRibs on our gold toilet.
Trump’s remarks, unsurprisingly, resulted in a huge outcry. Veterans’ groups condemned him. His own former chief of staff John Kelly, who long ago gave up the pretense that he had served someone who didn’t suck, publicly criticized the comments. Even politicians who publicly support Trump’s election bid were mad at him.
Two days later, a reporter caught Trump backstage at one of his campaign rallies where he didn’t get shot and asked him to clarify (starting around the 1:07 mark):
“When I say better, I would rather in a certain way get it because people who get the Congressional Medal of Honor, which I’ve given to many, are often horribly wounded or dead. They’re often dead, they get it posthumously. And when you get the Congressional Medal of Honor, I always consider that to be the ultimate, but it is a painful thing to get it.”
Ha ha, yeah, it’s like a bad case of shingles or something. You don’t want to get those! Ouchie!
“When you get the Presidential Medal of Freedom, it’s usually for other things, like you’ve achieved great success in sports, or you’ve achieved great success someplace else … It was a statement they’re much more painful to get because oftentimes they’re in very bad shape.”
Very bad shape! Like his demented brain, or his credit history!
So given a chance to correct the record, Trump essentially said, No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant it like this. And then proceeded to repeat what he’d said a couple of days before almost verbatim. Because his brain is pudding.
No matter what one thinks of America’s militant culture and the righteousness or non-righteousness of its various foreign wars, there is one shibboleth that aspiring politicians have learned to never violate, at least since the dark days of Vietnam when Walter Cronkite was passing along stories of long-haired hippies spitting on returning soldiers in airports.
Do not insult veterans.
Seriously, don’t do it. How many times has some version of the following been beaten into our brains, even subliminally: We support soldiers even if we oppose their mission. We are grateful for their sacrifice. Here’s a yellow ribbon, tie it around your wrist or your mailbox or your junk to show you love the troops.
How hard could it be to simply not advertise your physical discomfort at the sight of badly wounded soldiers? Not hard, right? A normal human will even feel great empathy and gratitude for their sacrifice.
But Donald Trump is not a normal human being, or possibly even a human being at all, which makes not being a dick at the sight of badly wounded soldiers nigh on impossible.
Care to buy Wonkette a beer to fuel us during out debauched week covering the DNC in Chicago?
Every generation of my family has served in the military. They and other vets have told me how much they hate 'thank you for your service'. They reply their thanks but they hate it because it's been said to the point of meaninglessness. They sacrificed EVERYTHING. Their families sacrificed EVERYTHING. They don't return the same person they left as.
THEY don't choose to go to war the rich fucks do that.
I was in an airport waiting for my connecting flight that got delayed. The reason I found out later it was delayed is that troops were coming in from Iraq and Afghanistan and using that particular tarmac. It was Christmas and many home from war to see their families. They were exhausted, still in battle fatigues, sand on their boots.
One group of about 10 young soldiers stayed at the same gate I was waiting for their flight. I heard them talking amongst themselves, they were hungry, had little money. I walked over and asked if I could buy them dinner. They looked at me not sure what to say. I said if you don't mind I'd like to buy you dinner while you wait for your flight. I said there are never enough words or the right words to express my gratitude for the sacrifices you and your families have made. They began to stand while I was handing the money to one of the soldiers telling him he'd have to take care of all of them and if there is anything left you share it amongst yourselves. They thanked me telling me they weren't sure how they would be treated when they walked in the door.
I wished them a Merry Christmas and to return home safely.
I dated a special forces pilot and he never wanted to hear the word goodbye so it was always something else. This is 2nd time I've shared this story in my life. It's not about me it's about THEM and it always will be.
OT - now I've done it. I've volunteered to be a poll monitor with Election Protection. I'll be at a polling place on Election Day, explaining voter rights to citizens and keeping a weather eye on the proceedings. I've done this before. The job satisfaction is off the charts.