328 Comments

I'm considering just signing up to be the bearded lady at the circus, at least I could make some money off it.

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I'LL HAVE YOUR WOMAN, TREBEK!

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Let's do the mashed potato!https://www.youtube.com/wat...

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I hope he was warned about the dire threats we face from the Flemish and Walloons.

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I think that was the real goal of his presidential run.

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Trump only trusts trump's intelligence.

He's made it clear from day 1.

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This is the lovely Joe Schmitz: son of John Schmitz, hateful, ultra-ultra-right wing John Bircher, U.S. Rep from then-John-Birch-infested Orange Country (thanks, Okies), who thought Nixon was a lefty, preached piety while fucking one of his students, impregnating her twice and refusing to pay child support; brother of Mary Kay LeTourneau, she of the fucking 12-year-old students notoriety. Young Joe here used to work for Blackwater and now is expressing his apparently oft-held wish that those Auschwitz ovens were bigger,, and perhaps MORE of my mother's and father's families could have been efficiently murdered. Just when you think it can't get any worse....

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I was told to hold it by the base. Or better yet, just whack it on the miscreant's head without first breaking. But I think you hold it by the neck for that.

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"If only Herr Hitler had let us build those bigger ovens! We could have gotten millions MORE!"

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We got one right here in Los Feliz (Los Angeles) too! Yep, right here in River City!

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That's exactly right--no governor at all! If you could somehow translate what your dog was saying, it would make more sense, even if it would not be as smart as what the cat would be saying.

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I hear that circus folk are interesting, open minded, and fun to hang out with. It would beat the boring people at the insurance company where I last worked.

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I actually am pretty sure they're not. How could they?

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That guy, what was his name, Auric something, very smart, great, great decor, terrific decor! Brings back the jobs, all the jobs, even the Oddjobs, so what happens, this Scottish guy, probably illegal, he comes along, ruins his laser, then his jet, I'm telling you, terrible windows! My jet, great windows. No one falls out of my windows, unless, you know, crooked Hillary, push her to her death, I'm not saying, I'm being sarcastic, but kill the bitch, amirite?

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We were both laughing--we're close like that! "tell it to me again!" Vlad kept saying, and I'd say it over and over! Vlad loves that, he really likes me, he always wants to know every single detail! Soon he says he's taking me on a great vacation, after I win, and he says not to worry about anything, he'll take care of all the details after that, he has a guy who can do everything for me, Yevtushenko or some name like that, but meanwhile Vlad will take me to his special palace, called a "Gulag," I can't wait! He's making some special tea for me, too, he said.

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Exactly!

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