Donald Trump Had A Very Bad Weekend

Donald Trump, he had a very bad weekend. First, people acted like it was somehow out of bounds for him to point out which judges are Mexican and which judges are good patriotic un-Mexicans.

Man, who would have ever expected Donald Trump to blast people for their ethnicity?! Not Paul Ryan, that is who not! Why, what on earth is Donald Trump talking about? said Paul Ryan. My goodness golly gee, how uncharacteristic and "out of left field" are his comments about Judge Gonzalo Curiel and not just one more piece of the unending racism that is Donald Trump's sneering angry racist face! 

Here is our favorite part of Donald Trump's truculent, idiotic insistence to Jake Tapper that OF COURSE you should walk around informing people of who is and isn't Mexican, otherwise how would you ever get a fair shake from the Mexicans oppressing you all the time? So Jake Tapper, in the framing endemic to news people where they have to have someone else state the criticism, goes "Hillary Clinton said that is a racist attack on a federal judge," before remembering that he, Jake Tapper, is a human being with eyeballs and can also say when something is racist, which he did like 23 times after that, so that was fun, but anyway, "Hillary Clinton said that is a racist attack on a federal judge." OH DONALD TRUMP GOT SO MAD! There he is, eyes narrowed, lips curled, practically spitting:

"Oh, she's so wonderful," sneers Donald Trump. "Here's a woman that should be put in jail for what she did with her emails, and she's commenting on this." LOL, Donald Trump is #bernieorbust. 

Of all Donald Trump's hilarious, ridiculous lies, "I have thick skin" might be my favorite.

Then Muhammad Ali died, and people jumped all up in Donald Trump's ass just because he (Donald Trump, not Muhammad Ali) had maybe talked a littttttle shit about Muslims, and how they should not be allowed in our country, and had even said some hilariously stupid shit about Barack Obama saying sometimes Muslims are inspirational because they are athletes maybe and Trump was like "MUSLIM? ATHLETES? WHATCHU TALKIN BOUT OBAMA," because he forgot about Ali, and Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and pretty much every athlete. He couldn't even post a nice somber tweulogy about the guy, without everyone screaming in his face and shit.

Oh, what's that, California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom? A riposte?

Thank you for your service. But oh, did Trump explain it all away by saying something stupid and laughable? 

[L]ast year, Ali issued a statement entitled “Presidential Candidates Proposing to Ban Muslim Immigration to the United States”, in which he said: “We as Muslims have to stand up to those who use Islam to advance their own personal agenda.”

Many have interpreted the statement as a criticism of Mr Trump’s suggested policy, despite the fact Ali failed to mention him by name.

Asked about the statement on Saturday, Mr Trump said he did not “believe that was about me”. “He never mentioned the name or anything like that,” he said, adding that if it were about him, Ali “would have mentioned the name”.

You guys, that is hilarious. That is like when the people said Valerie Plame had not been outed as a CIA spy woman, because they had named her as "Joe Wilson's wife is a CIA spy" instead of "Valerie Plame is a CIA spy." Like it would not be illegal to out a CIA spy by, say, pointing at them and saying "that is a CIA spy." Nope, need the full name, middle initial, rank and serial number, obviously. So Donald Trump can say a statement titled "Presidential Candidates Proposing to Ban Muslim Immigration to the United States" doesn't mention "Donald Trump." It is probably about Bernie Sanders.

Anyway, there were like 50 more things that happened bad for Donald Trump this weekend, including everybody giving blowjobs to Hillary Clinton for her big anti-Trump speech, and Donald Trump hated it soooo much. But do not worry, in a few days the press will get bored with a big Hillary blowout, and they will start bringing up all her murders again, and how you cannot trust her, because she will murder you. That is a thing you can look forward to, hooray!

[ CNN / Independent / NYDN ]