207 Comments

Jeebus Crisp, I will be hearing grifty stories about this MF until the day I die, won't I?

Expand full comment

If he’s been hoarding the lost episodes of Doctor Who, I will be furious.

Expand full comment

Bet they'd find Washington's false teeth and FDRs wheelchair there too.

Expand full comment

Kennedy's brain in a jar is probably there too

Expand full comment

and LBJ's dong

Expand full comment

This is sickening. He looks more rotten all the time

Expand full comment

Ha! 16 fake Michigan electors indicted.

Expand full comment

At least the British went all the way to those funny foreign countries to steal stuff.

Swiping something that's on loan is lazy, and quite frankly not at all classy.

"I found this in the ruins of a far off land!"

= "Oh Lord Rubber Bottom, you are so adventurous and exciting I'm totally willing to overlook your lack of a chin and horrifying over-supply of teeth and marry you!"

"I swiped this cause the joos were dumb enough to lend it to me!"

= "Oh... Cool. Good for you... So, I heard you had a bunch of secret stuff you like to show people?"

Expand full comment

“Donald Trump is that friend, but orange.” Has a bit of a Dr. Seuss ring to it.

Expand full comment

Nothing rhymes with orange

Expand full comment

Clearly you have not seen H.R. Pufnstuf's Witchiepoo (1969) https://youtu.be/gDoSl-M5tmM?t=65

Expand full comment

A made-up word will suffice. Blorange, etc.

Expand full comment

“The next Lara Croft movie practically writes itself.”

If it features Angelina Jolie kicking the living shit out some fucking giant orange antiquities thief, then I am there for it!

(I might even buy a copy to watch in my bunk.)

Expand full comment

"Dollar-store Xanadu." Nothing else I read today will engender such delight. Thank you, GL!

Expand full comment

The PAB says he likes guys wearing yarmulkes counting his money.

Looks like he needs more Members of the Tribe to count his menorahs

Expand full comment

Mangoman says the only ancient Jewish artifact at Mar a Lago is Alan Dershowitz and Waltine moves him around regularly.

Expand full comment

"that dollar-store Xanadu in Florida"

and now I will be dead of laughing. Thanks, Gary!

Expand full comment

I had to store those lamps...have you seen the price of oil?

Oy!

- PAB

Expand full comment

Does he claim to have declassified the lamps? Check-mate, Libs!

Expand full comment

I'd say it's time for a little visit to Mar a Lago from the Mosad and if there is some collateral damage, then, well, shit happens.

Expand full comment

I'm okay with that, actually.

Expand full comment

PAB will claim it's hurricane damage.

Expand full comment

And try and get his insurance to pay for it.

Expand full comment

If Mar-A-Largo is still being covered, because Florida.

Expand full comment

"Until several months ago when Israeli authorities found out they were at Mar-a-Lago for some reason."

Please, isn't it clear by now? Mar a Largo is the building from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark:

https://youtu.be/FRP0MBNoieY?t=68

Just not as well decorated.

Expand full comment