Donald Trump: I Invented The Word 'America.' YOU'RE WELCOME!

Donald Trump is having a bad week. No sooner does he announce his intention to pretend to run for president than the dumb not-even-really-American-wink-wink Ted Cruz copycats him and does the same thing, what a jerk. But worse, Cruz has stolen Trump's Very Unique applause line that Donald Trump thought up his own self, with his own YOOOGE brain:

"The line of 'Make America great again,' the phrase, that was mine, I came up with it about a year ago, and I kept using it, and everybody's now using it, they are all loving it," Trump said.

"I don’t know I guess I should copyright it, maybe I have copyrighted it."

But as Matt Taibbi points out at Rolling Stone, Ted Cruz isn't the only thief to steal Trump's line. Ronald Reagan stole it from Trump 35 years ago, with a TV ad and posters and campaign buttons. And did Ronald Reagan thank Trump? No! Some Republican hero Reagan retroactively turned out to be!

If only Trump had thought to copyright his clever combination of words that no one has ever said before. He could be lawsuiting Reagan's corpse right now! May we humbly suggest to Trump -- not that he needs our advice because he already knows everything about everything -- that he immediately copyright his entire statement announcing his intention to form an exploratory committee, because those are some 35-karat gold-plated words, and we'd hate to see any other unworthy Republican contenders steal them.

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Just imagine the horror of Jeb Bush claiming "Americans deserve better," without attributing that novel concept to Trump. Or Scott Walker insisting that we must "put Americans back to work!" without adding, "hat tip Trump." Or Lindsey Graham declaring, "I am the only one who can make America truly great again!" Although, come to think of it, Graham would probably add "for white men in male-only clubs," which just might help him avoid any copyright violations. We'll have Trump's lawyers look into that -- once they're done investigating Ted Cruz's "birth certificate" andsuing The Twitters for making Trump look dumb -- and get back to us.

[ Rolling Stone ]