117 Comments
User's avatar
Cuberly's avatar

Photoshop. Lots and lots of Photoshop.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Wait for it in the next GOP candidate advert....

Incoming Ham's avatar

He needs to lay off the highlighter.

3FingerPete's avatar

"Tell Kim I'll be right there, Kanye, but first I've got the King of France on the phone asking for some advice."

3FingerPete's avatar

From what I can tell Schiffer's flagship business, Patriarch Equity, has almost no online footprint and has just one employee...himself. However, the folks at Newsmax TV sure seem to like him.

https://www.youtube.com/wat...

motmelere's avatar

That publicity photo instantly evoked the memory of Roman Craig telling is wife to "Can it, honey, I'm on the phone"

kfreed's avatar

Trump's sidekick is an evil elf? Schiffer should refrain from taking hair advice from The Donald Dork and probably should demand a refund on that publicity photo or does the man actually have YELLOW eyes?

kfreed's avatar

Ah so ... the douche factor multiplier:) ... as if the bro-do, pointy ears, chest hair, lip fuzz, sateen pinstripes, and cell phone weren't sufficient...

Bonus douchey website, birthed 2014: http://www.ericschiffer.com/

...and ROFLMAO: http://www.wallpapergate.co...

DoubtfulGuest (f/k/a Froggage)'s avatar

Eric Schiffer looks like the bastard offspring of Criss Angel and Tony Robbins, which means we don't pay attention to anything he says or writes.

yourlizardoverlord's avatar

Is Trumpity Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump's campaign slogan?

yourlizardoverlord's avatar

He looks more like an avatar on second life.

yourlizardoverlord's avatar

Are you certain he is on team het? He seems all oiled up and ready to go. Not that I am accusing you gays of wanting him. Just sayin'.

yourlizardoverlord's avatar

Wear a ferret on your head. - fixed

NorthStarSpanx's avatar

"Donald Trump in action can help anyone become a better leader. I know it’s helped me at my eight companies." (- one of the douchiest sentences ever.)

Why do people love him?" writes Batley at one point in the unpublished piece. "I have my own list of reasons, starting with his authentic style, but perhaps he was able to put it best."

I'm sensing a trend here on who The Donald allows to interview him. Set ass kissing on "suck."

Spalding's avatar

I Protest, that suit is pure poison and the hair and the soul patch... he looks like the creepy cousin at a wedding. A suit like that demands a NSFW warning, W being WORLD.