294 Comments

Agh! The Stupid! It buuuurrrnnnnnzzzzz...

Expand full comment

I considered not eating lunch. Does that mean I'm on a diet now?

Expand full comment

Oh no, did Chuck Grassley get You're Fired™??!

Expand full comment

'I warmed 'em up for you, now bring 'em home!'

Expand full comment

I'ts Not illeagal to feel CONFLICTED LIBTARS!!!1

Expand full comment

Right. He was conflicted, but there's no witnesses. That's on par with W "serving" in TANG during 'Nam.. but no one could remember him ever showing up for a year and a half.

And of *course* he was all hot and bothered about the bouncy Russian babies. He especially wanted to get *real* close to the hot Russian babe in the meeting (was she named Natasha Fetale?).

But, actually, I just diagnosed why the US is in such trouble: Trumplini, Trumpolini, Jr...we've got the DTs.

Expand full comment

I was going to guess it's one of these... but worn out?

https://www.shapeways.com/p...

Expand full comment

Robert Mueller is probably watching this in a hotel room with Paul Manafort. The lights are off. Manafort draws slowly on a cigarette. Mueller picks up the bottle of scotch he's been pouring since the beginning of the testimony.

MUELLER: Freshen that for you, Paul?MANAFORT: *rattles ice in glass, swigs, holds it out*MUELLER: You know, you can make this all stop. Any time you want.MANAFORT: *drains glass, holds it out again*MUELLER: *speaking as he pours* You're in pain. I can see that. This is painful.MANAFORT: *silently crying*MUELLER: Say the word.MANAFORT: *whispering hoarsely* I want that fucker's nuts.MUELLER: *pondering in silence* Everything's on the table, Paul.

Expand full comment

To be fair, some of his complete idiocy may be from repeated head-punchings from 45.

Expand full comment

"I remember a time when conservatives really hated it when people got too cozy with the Kremlin."

Oh, they still hate it, if that person is not a Republican. Can you imagine if ANYBODY even TANGENTIALLY connected to the Obama team EVER met with ANY Russian spies?

Expand full comment

Hey, Don, Jr., Dipshits 'R Us is having a sale on excuses this week!! They're kind of old and stale, but fresher than anything you can think up.

Expand full comment

Mine are facing out -- from the credenza behind me, with the pictures backs to the wall. Nothing like this.

Expand full comment

You know how if you say a word over and over again, about 20 times, it loses its meaning? I've gotten to that point with the "Imagine if a Democrat did X." No knock on your question, but I saw a report out today that Kkkris Kkkobach's Voter Suppression Brigade is conducting its governmental business on private e-mail servers. I believe I will die of old age before I see any "outrage" about that on Fox. Well, or anywhere else, for that matter.

Expand full comment

to be clear: there was never a question of whether gwb served in the TANG. He did. He did not complete his service, moved to Alabama(?) and claimed he completed his service there. thats where no one ever saw him. and there were no transfer papers or records of him serving there.

Expand full comment

I would have gone with bowling excuses:

"The sun was in my eyes!""The wind was blowing too hard!"

Expand full comment