Donald Trump Kills Jimmy Carter

 
 Donald Trump, always good for a laugh, arrived at CPAC today ready to be as impressive as ever. Consider this on-the-spot report from Huffpo's Sam Stein:

Trump just rolled in w/ about 12 security guards. "Any thoughts on Ukraine?" I asked. "I am," he said. "What?" I asked. He walked on

The man is like a haiku. Maybe he was just taking John McCain literally about that "We are all Ukraine" stuff. I am Ukraine: and so can you.

And then things got weirder when Trump took the stage and killed Jimmy Carter dead. 

More precisely, he said that America is almost as bad as it was in the days of "the late, great Jimmy Carter." Check out this here video!

Mr. Carter's grandson James was as surprised as anyone to hear about these greatly exaggerated rumors of the former President's untimely murder by misstatement:

[ Huffpo ]

Still, good job, short-fingered vulgarian! This was a triumph.